While I entirely agree with this statement, Acting on such things isn't always seen as a test but an affront.
I guess it depends on the person, or the timing.
Thank you all for your comments. I was trying to reintroduce myself I suppose, but a lot of emotions got in the way due to recent events. Jumbling a whole bunch of unrelated stuff together is my unintentional specialty.
I see your point, and that's interesting that you feel that brushing up against a person's out limits of comfort gives you a personal connection in the end. I think that connection can be had by asking them without reaching the point of discomfort. You can fully get to know and understand a person without touching their boundaries. Most of the time when I touch a person's outer limits, I lose that person. They stop being my friend. It happened 2 years ago. It happened a week ago. I just lose people through lack of communication and understanding. We don't always know what questions to ask to reveal what these outer limits are, but there isn't always a return from the damage caused by causing that discomfort.
I do things that way (usually) because I can get away with it without any backlash.
I am fortunate in that I have enough charm that I can get to those uncomfortable places without being rude or brutish about it.
Though I completely understand the delicate method of slowly getting to know someone, I don't really like it for my own use.
I tend to be quiet when I first meet someone new, but only for a few minutes.
In this time I observe and get a feel for this new person, then I open up and they get every part of my personality without having to ask for it.
I understand that most people do not wear their soul on their sleeve, so I have to get at it somehow.
Asking someone what they are comfortable with can work, but it takes time, and people often don't even know what they are comfortable with until they experience it, so it can be an act in futility. So, I greatly prefer to just get right in there with little tests until I get what I want and then base my actions and words around that person on what I arrive on.
Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission as they say.