Thank you for sharing that story.
I used to do a lot of RPing in that Pokemon community, as a wolf named Luna. I actually still use the handle Lunies, which was her nickname. At some point I had gone through a pseudo-spiritual phase and I dabbled a bit into Wicca, magic, otherkin. Even though I wanted to believe at the time, I could never quite convince myself of feeling a phantom tail or have the urges that the other otherkin claimed to have. I guess it was more fun to pretend than to remind myself I was a quiet, mundane 14 year old in high school.
I still follow the core Wiccan principles around nature, but I've grown out of that since I've grown an interest in science.
I think Lunies is a cute nickname xD, and my friend had a half-wolf half-husky named Luna
I, too, had my spiritual/otherkin phase in high school. I felt like I was the run-of-the-mill transfer student, and I had poor self-image, seeing myself as a loser with no distinct characteristics. What I needed was other people to convince me that I was a unique, interesting individual. And it's true, we are all unique, interesting, and beautiful people, even the worst of us.
Also, I'm not saying RP is a bad thing, quite the opposite. It can be a good, harmless form of self-expression. It can just as easily be denial of reality.
Otherkin, I feel, is rejecting yourself and trying to live vicariously through an animal. People don't feel phantom tails, and these "urges" are just usually teenage hormones [unless you suffer from the
Clinical Lycanthropy, a form of Psychosis, in which case seek immediate medical attention]. I've managed to see all my [therian/otherkin] friends more or less grow out of it. Albeit most are now furries, the principle remains. They stopped trying to make themselves what they weren't, but they didn't stop expressing themselves, they just express themselves differently now, whether it be art, literature, music, role-playing as their fursona's, etc.
I'm glad you managed to grow out of that shell