Hey guys here's a story I wrote when I had too much sugar.
Enjoy because this doesn't make any godamn sense and is intentionally written poorly
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GREG: THE STORY OF GREG Part 1: Electric Bullshit
"Beep beep it's the morning wake up you fucking bagel" Greg's alarm clock said with the force of 100 screaming pandas. Greg got up from his bed and threw the alarm clock out the window because alarm clocks shouldn't call you a bagel because that's rude yo
"Oh dingle I'm hungry" Greg said, jumping out the window to go get some subs from Sheetz or a bucket of froyo or some shit like that
As he ran down the streets of somewherewhofivesaguckville a bunch of rain came down from the sky
And by rain I mean it was raining semi trucks. You ever been hit by a falling semi? that shit hurts yo
As Greg dodged semis as is tradition of the seventh sunday in the month of iojsdfouaisgfougra, he ran into some guy clothed entirely in red and black and with a goatee
"Yoooooo Jafar" Greg said. Jafar simply did what Jafars do and laughed a british laugh and sang a villain song about how the semis were going to help him take over Agrabah or whatever. Then he got hit by a semi because fuck that noise
Greg continued his jog/sprint for his life to sheetz because he was hungry and scared and wanted to watch Aladdin. He did a backflip into the window of sheetz with the grace of a stick of butter trying to win the olympics in a wheelchair god bless that butter for trying and being my inspiration on how to live my life and what am I even typing some get this Dr Pepper away from me heeeeeeeeeeelp
"Yoooo I want some MTOs Biiiiiiiiiiitch" Greg said as happy as a man with no legs is when he finds his missing legs and marries them both.
"Hey you got the money" the Rock behind the counter said. How progressive of Sheetz to give rocks equal rights by employing them
Greg realized that he forgot his money at home and said "Sorry homesies, I got no money. I guess this is a stick-up now"
As those words left his mouth life the audience for The Devil Inside left the theater only with less anger, a robot with a boombox landed from the sky and said "Yo I'm securitybotguyman let's have a dance off to see if you can earn those subs". Securitybotguyman did a flip in the air but because he has the finnese of a cream cheese donut, he fell over and blew up. Greg did the infamous "Handicapped Panda" dance which is really just flopping about on the floor and screaming like you're having your limbs cut off and ground up to be made into placebo medicine. He won first place in the dance contest and then he got a sub.
THE END
....OR IS IT BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF PEOPLE WANT A SEQUEL
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And there's what happens when you give me access to sugar.