so I decided to try and write a screenplay.

Its sort of a dark comedy about a guy named edward who owns a funeral home. Because I'm a fan of the idea of using dead bodies in the context of slapstick comedy. I will post some of it later, when it doesn't suck so much.

EDIT:

okay, this is just a small taste of it. I would appreciate opinions. There are a few bits of it that I sincerely detest, but I can't just edit myself forever (as much as I would like to)

https://app.box.com/...9k8maxcul2kte1t

Don't over-edit yourself to death.

Looking forward to it.

Hopefully your writing isn't too....stiff.

Hopefully your writing isn't too....stiff.

Please don't be shy! Show us everrrrrything ^^

I will put on a top hat, twirl my untwirlable mustache and swirl red wine in a glass while judging it harshly.

Lol. Read my sig.

Also, I will prolly post something tomorrow.

The feeling's mutual.

Okay, so I know I said that I would have a thing posted a few days ago. I lied. I will soon, though.

The feeling's mutual.

Haha, I hope you know that I was joking

Okay, so I know I said that I would have a thing posted a few days ago. I lied. I will soon, though.

 

Haha, I hope you know that I was joking

I was too, of course! ^^ 

Okay, so here is a little taste. I would appreciate honest opinions. https://app.box.com/...9k8maxcul2kte1t

EDIT: Also, I feel like I should use something more subtle (but still funny) than "died in a blogging accident". Suggestions?

EDIT 2: Thinking about using "died in a knitting accident"

I'm fond of the ending.

Are we ever given a reason for the balloons popping? They and the chair are a bit much, honestly. I'd suggest a slow pan from Edward showing just how empty the room is to emphasize the point.

EDWARD Anyways, I remember how he used to tell the best stories about his

time in the military, and about how similar a funeral home was to a fast

food joint. On the busy days,he would tell me that people were

just dieing to get in. I think it

was a joke, but we’ll never know.(Note: I am not a huge fan of thisbit. Will likely change later

I think that was one of your cleverer bits, actually.

All in all, vaguely reminiscent of Black Books, which is a compliment.

I'm fond of the ending.

 

Are we ever given a reason for the balloons popping? They and the chair are a bit much, honestly. I'd suggest a slow pan from Edward showing just how empty the room is to emphasize the point.

 

 

All in all, vaguely reminiscent of Black Books, which is a compliment.

I tend to agree with the bit about the balloons popping. I think I need a bit more subtlety. 
Which is why I just wrote a relativity long shot into the start which is simply a body being prepared and no dialogue. 

Currently working on a dialogue scene with slapstick-corpses, and a scene involving a funeral home inspector.

I've never seen black books, but it looks rather intriguing.

Thanks for having a look!

Cheers! Thanks for taking my criticism the way it was meant to be taken!

Good luck, and give us a holler when you've got a bit more!

Cheers! Thanks for taking my criticism the way it was meant to be taken!

Good luck, and give us a holler when you've got a bit more!

Well, thanks for having a look.

In other news, I've written quite a bit more. I feel like I need to go back and edit it a bit. And I am very close to getting to a major plot break, so maybe I'll post something when I get to that. 

What I have written involves a funeral home inspector, a dead body rocketing from a window, cops in a doughnut shop, pop culture references and a murder mystery.

Also, more dead bodies. Lots. All of them. Every last one!

EDIT: Oh, wait, I already posted something similar above.

Except, I'm not sure how non-linear it's going to be.