Thank you all for your comments. I was trying to reintroduce myself I suppose, but a lot of emotions got in the way due to recent events. Jumbling a whole bunch of unrelated stuff together is my unintentional specialty.

Without testing the limits of the people around you there is no way to truly know what those limits are.

By playing it safe and never touching their boundaries we never really touch who they truly are as individuals.

When I brush against a person's very outer limits of comfort I get a much more personal connection to them through understanding and in the end that makes them feel closer, easier to get along with in the future.

I see your point, and that's interesting that you feel that brushing up against a person's out limits of comfort gives you a personal connection in the end. I think that connection can be had by asking them without reaching the point of discomfort. You can fully get to know and understand a person without touching their boundaries. Most of the time when I touch a person's outer limits, I lose that person. They stop being my friend. It happened 2 years ago. It happened a week ago. I just lose people through lack of communication and understanding. We don't always know what questions to ask to reveal what these outer limits are, but there isn't always a return from the damage caused by causing that discomfort.

I've been called "selfish" for years. I'm not. At all. Even about a month ago, I started planning a web show called "Jason's Selfish Show" because that's how I'm always labeled. High functioning autism is such a curse to those around me. Many people end up thinking I'm a horrible person because I can't communicate effectively. As a writer, that has been terribly difficult. Though it's why I write. I want to be understood. So badly. That's my dream. To be understood and appreciated.
I'm ranting again. That's a thing I do.

This is the last post I'm going to make on here for quite some time, as I need to take a leave due to personal reasons.
Thank you again for understanding. My e-mail is still on my profile page and if I need to be contacted, that's the way to do it.

Have a good night, everyone. Or day where applicable.

EDITED OUT OF FEAR...

Retraction!!!! RETREAT!!!

No, it has nothing to do with language.

I guess it was just a weird rant on my part because of recently upsetting someone without realizing how upset I make people.

I always say the wrong thing. As proven by the responses in this post. I'm not clear and I'm usually awkward. I know know all nerds are outcasts and awkward. Some of us are.

I saw some posts by Nerdgirl on here too. I saw how tense things got. I never spoke to her or replied to any of her threads, but the tension it created also made me feel that perhaps without a full picture of who we all are, there are going to be these moments of tension.

Retraction complete.

I really don't like upsetting people. I guess that's basically it.

Samantha,

I really do understand how you feel. I get the whole thing where in real life, the relationships with the people in our everyday lives is lacking the encouragement and personal attention that nurture happiness and self-worth. In fact, feeling like that usually causes me to run away from social media/forums/visiting with real people/etc. I'm having difficulty expressing the proper words here, and even though it can be overwhelming to take in all the side comments/conversations that happen on EVERY thread, you'll find those people that you can really connect with and be there for you when you do get these spurts of loneliness and depression.

I've been listening to a lot of Brentalfloss lately. He makes songs about gaming, but usually adds lyrics to game music.

Here are a couple I've been listening to a lot lately.

Crazy Duck in Space

Ballad of the Mages

I think everyone should. Of course, it all has to do with comfort, and most likely Affray or someone will notice you look like some type of celebrity. I mean, that's what I keep seeing anyway. But it's nice to put a name and face together. We are many different looking kinds of people here, and yes, I said that awkwardly on purpose. Anyway... DO IT!!!!

Pokemon is great fun. It wasn't the first TCG Iearned how to play (that would be Magic) but it's still awesome. For some reason I always love using grass. That's my favorite type, even in the video game, but I commend you for being able to play competitively! I play for fun because there's no way I'd be able to put together appropriate decks. Especially because I'm poor.
 

I have gotten real good at picking out fake cards though. So that's a good thing. My cousin brought over tons of her cards one time, and I had found that most of them she bought from a flea market turned out to be fakes, which was a shame.

As far as the new Fairy and Dragon types added in, (my family shares cards, so I say "we" meaning my family) we only have 1 fairy type, 1 dragon type, but only 1 fairy energy.
Anyway. I'm kind of just rambling and jumping around on this topic. I'm sure I'll have more focus in a future post. I get excited to talk about something and just start going all over the place with it.

Great job! It's very professional looking. The short intro certainly works. You have your logo and then get right to the content.

Well, that was entertaining!

The Vandals! I love their fun punk rock style! I also saw them perform with The Ataris and Lagwagon.

Bugs Bunny or Buster Bunny?

Holy cow! Yes, I have done LOTS AND LOTS of music. Very offensive gangsta thug stuff. ... well... ummm... not quite that.

I was half of the band "Not Quite Normal" and half the band "The A.V. Kids" and also did some demo stuff on my own, but I don't have the best equipment or anything, so my solo stuff are all just odd demos. But my first cd releases were: 1998, 2000, 2002, 2010.

In 2000, my song "Disembodied Body Boy" got some national radio airplay on the Dr. Demento Show (A novelty music show that is now just an internet show, but it started in the '70s.) and I got some local airplay with a couple other songs too. But keep in mind, this was all before the whole Youtube songs pop up all over the place thing.

HOWEVER, obviously I'm not popular for songs or anything, so I'm not the most confident about them, and don't really share them all that often. I can post a couple links to a couple different ones. I really only share them upon request, but it's just for fun. If you guys like 'em, you like 'em, and if not, you don't.

Oh. And I DID post my Dungeons & Dragons song in the Dungeons & Dragons thread.

Most of the Not Quite Normal stuff are song parodies.
The A.V. Kids music is new-wave type.
My recent stuff (recent like... 2 years ago... or so) was keyboardy rap style.
And then yesterday I recorded a similar kind of song for an upcoming live-stream web show that will be starting August 1st. I can't share that yet though because I was asked not to.

Sooo... let's see. I'm most proud of "Dungeons & Dragons" but I already posted that one.

Here are some Not Quite Normal solo songs. My brother stopped doing music, so these were all by me. They're parodies recorded in 2010.

I'm No Twilight Guy (Parody of Tik Tok by Ke$ha)

AC/DC (Parody of Maji Bomber by Berryz Koubou... it's a J-pop parody using just weird wordplay)

Here are a couple VERY OLD songs we did as "Not Quite Normal"

Disembodied Body Boy: (We were 16 when this was recorded) (My twin was lead vocals.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mkDm8m-pBw

Pretty Fly (For a Fry Guy): Parody of "Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)" by The Offspring (My twin was lead vocals here too.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZNfUNivxTA

Here are a couple that we did as "The A.V. Kids" We were 20 when we recorded these.

The Song I Wrote While Looking at Pictures of my Ex-Girlfriend (Lyrics/Lead vocals by my brother. Music/Background vocals: Me.)

I want to point out something: There's a line that sounds like it's homophobic. It's not. It's just about Rosie O'Donnell.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8I0JBJeG9Jc

Fast Food Freddy: (I did this entire song. Music, lyrics, vocals, etc.) It's actually quite serious despite how it sounds. It's about being not following your dreams and how miserable it makes a person. (The mixing is also a little off.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bbcv2TPtPhw

What Should I Scooby Dooby Doo? (Lead vocals/Lyrics: My brother. Music/BG Vocals: Me. I tried to make it sound like the chase songs from Scooby Doo.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-wOfhEUApE

Here are some of the recent solo demos from my 4-track mixer and poor equipment.
 

Kung Fu

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl_oCrHyW14

David Bruce
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APpviagSPUs

BUT ANYWAY. Those are a bunch of my songs. I have four albums worth... plus a lot of just... odd demos. I hope someone enjoys. I don't normally share these, so I don't expect the best comments, but if you like'em that's great. I quit doing music 2 years ago.

There are plenty of amazing people to meet on the nerd forum, so welcome! You'll enjoy it very much here.

First anime that I knew was an Anime was most likely the first season of pokemon or DBZ in the 90s, first actual anime was most likely Robotech or Dragon Warrior.

I dont even remember Robotech or Dragon warrior I just remember looking them up on the internet after putting in some key words of some "mystery" show i watched as a kid and couldn't remember the name of. It might not even be those two animes.

I also watched thundercats (I know its anime inspired and not actual anime) and I also saw Samurai Pizza Cats.

HOLY COW! The first anime I saw was Dragon Warrior too!!! I didn't think anyone else would have that on here. The first anime I watched that I knew was anime at the time though... Either Dragon Ball (original) or Ranma 1/2. I can't remember which was first. One of those two though.

Sympa, you already said you were pretty short... so around 5 feet tall. You mentioned that you're happy about some weight loss, so I'm guessing around 185 pounds. Probably short brown hair, but long enough to still be brushed. Not buzzed or anything. Brown eyes. That's my guess. I'm not sure on the other details.

In that case I could be the next drug cartel of my city. My cousin runs that show

Weren't you talking about wanting to get a job? I think that's on your to-do list. And as long as you're not the customer, you stay true to your clean-up goal too.

Or we can band together and make all our dreams come true and take over like nerds are supposed to. NERD TAKEOVER *Tries to throw table, but is too weak, plus there's a D&D game on it, so I don't want to lose the positioning of the orcs*

Dragons have a larger variety, and therefore are more interesting and dynamic.

Stilts or Unicycles?

Hi and welcome! It's a fun place.

AVGN!

Donkey Kong Junior or Diddy Kong?

Thanks. I totally understand the whole selling a book is like winning the lottery type odds. It's not that I don't have a job, it's that it's not good enough. My family lives far below the poverty line and though I'm a great student (3.9 college GPA) it means nothing in the real world. Nobody cares about that and none of my actual skills are really marketable from a career standpoint. I keep looking for something quiet and out of the way like data entry or medical billing (which I do have experience doing). I have never been more than a couple months without income at any time, but the 30 jobs in 15 years thing shows that I can't maintain work that I'm not passionate about. Any of the menial work that I get, is doable, but then I end up finding something with a better looking future for myself, but when I get it, I screw it up and have to abandon ship before I'm fired... or like twice... actually get fired. I was fired from my last job as a bill collector. The work made me cry... at work and want to drive my car off the road on the way there, so I'm glad I'm not there and that job sent me into therapy. I've been able to refocus and get my head to a place where I won't hurt myself, but I may still make some reckless decisions while my heart and mind battle for what I should actually do about my situation.
As far as what constitutes "making a living..." $18,000/yr would do. It's still far below poverty for a family of four, but if I could make that doing what I love, I'd take it. Most authors typically make around $5k-10k per book. That's obviously not for the huge sellers, but just for your typical novel. And even at that, it would be amazing.
At any rate, I'm going to just hold off for a tiny bit (probably a week) and read another aspiring author's novel to provide feedback for her.
At that point, we'll see where things stand.
Thank you for your time and kindness... and sushi... and kittens eating sushi.

Hey! A depression forum. It's just the place I need to be. I want to get started on my next book, but feelings of massive guilt are preventing me from doing so. Writing the book I just finished caused my family so much dismay, and as a writer, I obviously need to get moving on to the next piece. Without going into too much detail publicly, out of respect for those involved, the time I spend writing a book makes my family think that if I was spending my time looking for a better job or something that it would be of more use. It's super important to me, and I'll never succeed if I don't keep at it. I dream of entertaining others, and that's another big problem. I'm always being accused of caring about making strangers happy and putting that before my family. I do feel that if I succeed at making strangers happy, as it's put, that I'd be able to support my family they way they wish.
Not only that, but I'm feeling quite a bit alone again. I know I'm not really alone, but I guess it's more feeling insignificant to those around me. I know what I do isn't important to them, and I hate not being able to share my joy and passion with people so close to me. I want to include them, but they just don't care.
I'm having to make some really big decisions about the course of my life over the next few weeks because nothing ever changes unless you change it. I'm not scared of change, but I do like to make sure I'm doing what is ultimately best. I don't know. The mixed up feelings of hopelessness and confusion are causing a bit of anxiety for me.
Thanks for listening,
Jason

I'm still curious as to the answer to Robstar's question from the first post he made. What are the pursuits of the rest of you?

Congratulations. Giving yourself a lot of goals to shoot for is nice because some will take longer, but as you're making progress in one, it will keep you motivated to keep at the longer/harder ones.

Swords

Gryphons or Chimeras

Tomato.

Magic or technology?

I don't know all the inner workings of what that anime society does as it pertains to creating a sense of community and belonging for its members, but is it something that is meaningful to people who aren't members? Perhaps you could still organize with the regular (8 or so) attendees to still do some form of anime' society activity that doesn't require a lot of funding or support from the school. Once again, without knowing the full scope of what the society means, I don't know if my suggestion is even anything valid.