Ah man. That super sucks. Only time I couldn't smoke was when I had pneumonia. Became irritable. Cranky. The works. I hope all works out for you guys. I really do sympathise her predicament. A world without weed sucks.
It especially sucks when it's the thing keeping her level.
It regulated and remedies so many little comfort of living things that when it's not present I'm reminded full force how bad things were for her before she started using it.
But it is what it is, two weeks or so of want to die pain and agony for a lifetime of tonsil free bullshit.
Addressing who as the general? All of us? What is the something different he is referring to? Is it about Valentine's day? What does it all mean?
It's just another settlement that needs my help.
I'm not going to bother with it though because I'm not a chump and made sure to throw as many heavy turrets as I could around so everyone is safe from super mutants and other wasteland bullshit. They'll be fine.
I'm tired of people mocking me for being a male with depression. I guess I deserve it. I am a horrible man who never should have existed. I realize that I have people who care about me, but it's not enough to make any good significance in their lives for the future. I feel like there would be a lot less stress in many people's lives if I was gone. Why should I even go through with next year, if I know it can't get any better?
The people who mock others for things like that are usually doing so to take attention away from their own suffering or appease their ego. Which makes their bullshit exactly not your problem to deal with, even if they put it on your radar by being cunts about it.
It's not easy, but you have to get your mind to a place where you are content doing whatever you need to do to be happy.
It's not about the people around you and their feelings on the matter, it's about getting yourself in a decent place mentally and letting everyone else adjust accordingly.
My wife struggled through the same issues you seem to be dealing with for about twenty years before we managed to pull her up out of the pit.
She spent more time worrying about how her actions and feelings affected her family than she did on trying to be happy.
The opinions and feelings of the people in her life seemed more important than her own because she'd spend years being put down and devalued to the point where she felt that if she could be this perfect version of herself that her family expected it would somehow fix how she felt every day. It didn't, it never does.
She also used to think that if she suddenly disappeared from this planet everyone would be relieved and happier because they wouldn't have to worry about her anymore or be brought down by her depression and anxiety. Which couldn't be further from reality.
Pain doesn't disappear when someone who is suffering disappears, it just gets transferred to everyone who cares about the sufferer.
My wife's cousin died in a car crash a year ago yesterday and that side of the family is still very much so not okay.
The cousin was an alcoholic drug addict who got his shit together when he went out West, then he fell apart after a divorce and went back to booze and hard drugs.
He was the passenger in the car, both he and the driver were drinking and he wasn't wearing a seat belt.
Everyone loved him unconditionally, even though he was an addict who was an on again off again burden on his family.
They'll never be the same again without him, everyone matters more than life itself to someone.
Just like everyone else here, I'm around if you ever need to talk about this sort of thing.
Unfortunately I have a fair amount of experience on the subject, so feel free to reach out whenever.