23 replies to this topic

[Wolf]

Who would of thought the foodcourt serenade wouldnt have worked

[(V) (`m`) (V) ︵ ┻━┻]

Apparently that guy.

I love that he screamed out that he thought he was so awkward as he was killing his unborn chilluns.


Also, this one is a winner as well:

"Justin Bauer is a kid I used to go to high school with. He was a great skateboarder and was a fairly popular kid. When HS ended most of us proceeded to find jobs or go to school, whereas J-bow just fucked girls and continued skateboarding. His daily routine of hard partying and sleeping around really didn't help his mental state, so after 3 excruciatingly long years he's pretty close to hitting rock bottom. To rectify this, he decides to throw a giant party for his family, friends, and really, whoever wants to attend; this is where things go to shit.
J-bow indulges in some hard drugs now and then, and decided to do a little crack the night of the party. I'd say there were a good 150 people there and we all knew he was tweaking. He had sold his only car to buy 3 kegs and tons of booze, so everyone was good and drunk by the end of the night when he called us all around the back porch. Surrounded by his immediate family and his girlfriend, he made a very heartfelt speech about how true their love was and how she makes him a better man, all still while tweaking like a fucking psycho. So he gets down on one knee and pulls out the ring, when his mom starts screaming.
As it turns out, J-bow had just slept with his ex the night before. Did his current girlfriend know that? Hell no. What followed was the most ghetto shit show I have ever seen. His girlfriend slapped him in the face and ran off crying. J-bow got upset with his mom for embarrassing/outing him in front of everyone, so he gets in her face and starts swearing at her. His mom's boyfriend takes offense to what J-bow is saying so he gets up, knocks him to the floor with one punch, and proceeds to whoop the shit out of him in a giant brawl. Needless to say, what started out as his engagement party and his big night, turned into his new worst memory.
He laid low for weeks, but when I saw him next was at a dive bar. He had apparently lost his mind, as he had taken the jewel from the ring he bought his girlfriend and superglued it to his front tooth... what a fucking mess. He tried to stab someone that night and got 86'd from his favorite spot. That was the last I ever saw him.
And that is the story of J-bow."


I lost it at the gem tooth bit.

[Wolf]

I rofld at And this is the story of J-bow

[(V) (`m`) (V) ︵ ┻━┻]

As did I my friend, as did I.