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#41 Elfie

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 07:19 AM

Yes! Because the way some lay on me, or how it's really hard to wear sun dresses.. Because of this huge mass on the lower part of my back


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#42 fae

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 07:26 AM

I kinda have the opposite problem. Stuff looks weird on me bc of my boobs ^^


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#43 Affray

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 07:28 AM

I know I should be body positive, but, sometimes when I see my body (type) I wish it wasn't. I have a pear shaped body, small slander upper body, and all the fat I eat goes straight to my butt and thighs. I am proud of what my body has done (given birth to three kids) but the junk they have put in my trunk, is almost too big for my body (I feel). Obviously I don't like to talk about this, because there are people that have much more body issues than I. Ugh, why must I look like a pear

A lot of guys (including myself) like some solid legs/hips.

There is nothing wrong with being sturdy as hell.

 

Damn near every woman alive has some issue with their body, even the clearly amazing ones.


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#44 The Seldom Seen Kid

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 08:13 AM

A lot of guys (including myself) like some solid legs/hips.

There is nothing wrong with being sturdy as hell.

 

Damn near every woman alive has some issue with their body, even the clearly amazing ones.

Remember though, girls don't necessarily give a shit what guys are into, they don't seek approval from us. Their body issues can't be solved with a mention that guys out there would do the dirty with them, they know that as is.



#45 Elfie

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 08:53 AM

Right you are seldom! Although the compliments are very sweet. I don't seek male approval, I seek my own approval. Which most of the time I have, but sometimes clothes just don't look as nice on my body, and it sucks! Because it was really cute! I know if I wore my sun dress guys would love it (because with any gust of wind you'd see my butt, which I understand is sexually attractive) but I won't because that would be embarrassing and I like to keep my sexy bits for special people (not really, just not the world)


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#46 SushiKitten

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 11:25 AM

I follow this super cute girl on twitter, like she was absolutely gorgeous and secretly every time she posted a selfie or photo of herself I got a little jealous. I'm on the edge between normal and overweight BMI and I've been trying hard to fall on the normal side of the fence, and seeing her photos made me wish I could look so good.

 

I couldn't believe it though when a couple weeks ago she said she had a lot of body image issues and she hated how she looked. I told her my secret about my bouts of jealously and we ended up making huge replies to eachother that we basically had to screenshot and send as an image because twitter isn't really the place for long discussions. 

 

Girls have so much standards thrust upon them, and it doesn't help that we're socially brought up to be competitive with other girls and always compare ourselves. Now it's popular to be body positive, set all that aside and feign that you actually love yourself after years of advertisements saying you're never good enough. Self acceptance is a long road and a never ending journey. I'm trying my best to get there, but we just got to go one step at a time. 



#47 Bowsette

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 11:52 AM

Remember though, girls don't necessarily give a shit what guys are into, they don't seek approval from us. Their body issues can't be solved with a mention that guys out there would do the dirty with them, they know that as is.

The Jeremy Kyle show taught me that no matter how fuck-ugly you are, there's a guy out there willing to fuck you.


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#48 Silver_rose

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 08:34 PM

Remember though, girls don't necessarily give a shit what guys are into, they don't seek approval from us.

 

That statement is intrinsically wrong. Everything we wear and do is to look gook to seek approval from the opposite sex.

 

We wear high heels to tighten muscles in the buttocks and lengthen the legs, to make it look attractive to the opposite sex.

We wear lipstick because the reddening of lips were traditionally considered an availability of fertility

Eye liner, mascara and eye shadow is put on to make the eyes more obvious, more attractive

We wear short dresses to show our legs and low cut tops to bring attention to our beasts, typically because we want men to pay attention to those areas (for women who want other women, it's probably to attract other women).

 

We consistently objectify ourselves to seek approval from others and there is nothing wrong with it, lying to ourselves about it that we seek validation through ourselves only is just wrong and it creates problems. We seek validation for ourselves through others, this is a constant no matter what sex, age or race you are, unless you're a monk or some shit.

 


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#49 Elfie

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Posted 07 May 2015 - 08:57 PM

I can see your point


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#50 The Seldom Seen Kid

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Posted 08 May 2015 - 01:39 AM

That statement is intrinsically wrong. Everything we wear and do is to look gook to seek approval from the opposite sex.

 

We wear high heels to tighten muscles in the buttocks and lengthen the legs, to make it look attractive to the opposite sex.

We wear lipstick because the reddening of lips were traditionally considered an availability of fertility

Eye liner, mascara and eye shadow is put on to make the eyes more obvious, more attractive

We wear short dresses to show our legs and low cut tops to bring attention to our beasts, typically because we want men to pay attention to those areas (for women who want other women, it's probably to attract other women).

 

We consistently objectify ourselves to seek approval from others and there is nothing wrong with it, lying to ourselves about it that we seek validation through ourselves only is just wrong and it creates problems. We seek validation for ourselves through others, this is a constant no matter what sex, age or race you are, unless you're a monk or some shit.

 

I see where you're coming from and obviously as a man I'm not going to tell you what it's like to be a woman, but I would have thought in this day and age men and women are able to seek reason in their desire for something in ways seperate from primal instinct. I could still use myself as an example because although like any other human being whose goal could be said to reproduce and continue the human race, I style and groom myself to be comfortable with my own appearance, not for any girls, so surely women can do the same?

 

Also I'm not sure if I just misunderstood what you wrote but why would it be problematic for women to validate themselves rather than wait for men to?



#51 Silver_rose

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Posted 08 May 2015 - 03:41 AM

Also I'm not sure if I just misunderstood what you wrote but why would it be problematic for women to validate themselves rather than wait for men to?

 

I'm definitely not saying it is, but at the base level of it all, our validation never really comes from ourselves when it comes to looks. We groom ourselves for two reasons, to look attractive and hygiene. How do we get our definitions of what is attractive? It is an external, subjective source. If we wished to seek validation from within ourselves, we would find it within ourselves, not with such an outer, superficial medium such as looks. Looks are what other people see us as, it is an outer shell, seeking validation that way is, intrinsically, to seek validation for yourself through others.

 

What is problematic is that we lie to ourselves, we say "I wear this too feel sexy", it's a little white lie. What we're really saying is "I wear this so men will look at me like I'm sexy, therefor I am sexy", it's like saying "they think so, therefor I am".

 

This is a big problem with society, we have so much of the media telling us what men think is sexy; what men think is attractive, so we do everything we can to meet this mould instead of making our own decisions and working with what we have. As I've said, there's nothing wrong with objectifying ourselves and seeking validation for our looks through others, we just shouldn't lie to ourselves about it. We should also try to seek that validation with what we've got instead of changing ourselves to fit this somewhat arbitrary mould (which has changed over the ages, mind you). 

 

That being said, I am not the poster girl for healthy body image. I am in the vernacular, fat. I am very heavy and I hate it, I do everything I can to lose this excess weight, not only for health reasons, but because I want to look attractive. But there is no way that I am going to tell myself that the reason why I want to look good is for me. I know full well it's because I want to attract someone.The being healthy part is for me, no one else is really going to give a fuck about that.


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#52 Elfie

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Posted 08 May 2015 - 04:12 AM

But I'm not changing myself. I don't normally wear make up, and when I do, I'm sitting at home. I do agree society pushes for a type, and we all feel the pressure. But society also pushed for super manly guys, who do this and that, and if you aren't, your not a man/ attracted to women. But so many men do whatever the hell thy want, and do do women. I agree to original want to be socially approved is there, and wanting to be attractive for men, is there. But how I feel about my looks has nothing to do with what they want. I don't wear anything normally than a unisex T/shirt, with a pair of jeans, ranging in fits, or sweats. I don't want to be gawked at, no matter how attractive it means I am. What I choose to wear on my body is not in any way controlled by what men want to see. And I know a lot of women who have crazy taste in clothing that guys find weird and over baring but they don't care, because they don't want to squeeze themselves under a guys thumb. Like I said I see your point, but I don't agree. If a guy, or girl doesn't like what I have to offer, other than my outter appearance than they can shove it. I dictate what I want to wear, to feel most comfortable and shows who I am.


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#53 Elfie

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Posted 08 May 2015 - 04:13 AM

And here I am validating myself to you, like I need to prove something. I don't :) thanks for the debate rose


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#54 Elfie

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Posted 08 May 2015 - 04:15 AM

And rose, when you do meet that special person, I hope they think your beautiful, on your terms, and care about your health


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#55 Silver_rose

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Posted 08 May 2015 - 04:52 AM

And here I am validating myself to you, like I need to prove something. I don't :) thanks for the debate rose

  

You're right, you don't, I still like you anyway.

 

I know not many people are going to agree with me, women will probably get enraged with this particular opinion, but it is a good debate, one that will probably last unto the point where actual physical attraction would be unnecessary, or until we've mentally grown up enough for it to be unnecessary.


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#56 fae

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Posted 08 May 2015 - 05:28 AM

I kinda have to agree with rose. I mean I do like to be told I look good and get attention because of my appearance. But I still wear clothes that I like because they are comfortable rather than "sexy" and I don't wear make up because it's too much hassle ^^


Et j'aime la nuit écouter les étoiles. C'est comme cinq cent millions de grelots. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry


#57 Aster1391

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Posted 08 May 2015 - 06:48 AM

I had to do just a bit of catch up here :/ I'm a fan of the "I dress how I feel better": if I feel like being stared at and complimented by people, then I dress up a bit. If I feel like being extremely comfortable, then I wear something different. My usual rule is: if I feel good in it, I look good in it. Whatever it is, can be dress and heels or jeans and running shoes. Anyway, I don't think there's anything wrong in looking for people's appreciation; I do it particularly when I've got a bad mood. Compliments -and seeing myself pretty in the mirror- help a lot :)


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#58 Elfie

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Posted 08 May 2015 - 07:29 AM

See, I don't feel comfortable with random compliments, from guys. I don't like to feel like I'm being checked out unless I'm interested, and flirting and communication comes before that. I get people who follow me at the grocery store, and other places, and I truly creeps me out. I cringe at the thought of being in someone's spank bank, unless like I've already stated, I'm interested. I don't really show any part of a sexy body part other than legs, but because my asset is so big, my shorts, skirts and dresses need to be a certain length to not show too much. I known that if I show those parts guys would love it, but who gives a shit what they want? Guys will be attracted no matter what you wear, so I will dress to impress myself, no one else.


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#59 Elfie

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Posted 08 May 2015 - 07:37 AM

You're right, you don't, I still like you anyway.
 
I know not many people are going to agree with me, women will probably get enraged with this particular opinion, but it is a good debate, one that will probably last unto the point where actual physical attraction would be unnecessary, or until we've mentally grown up enough for it to be unnecessary.


I like you too, you are one of my favorites


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#60 fae

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Posted 08 May 2015 - 10:39 AM

I will dress to impress myself, no one else.

That's a good attitude :)


Et j'aime la nuit écouter les étoiles. C'est comme cinq cent millions de grelots. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry