I am a man who has been threatened with rape by another man. I know how emasculating and disgusting the situation is, so you don't need to tell me women are not the only ones who suffer. Women still face an overwhelming majority when it comes to gender-based violence (GBV) and rape.
http://www.nspcc.org...-relationships/
This research conveys the fact that 12% of boys between 13-18 have admitted to committing abuse against their partners. For girls this statistic lies at 3%. Let's not pretend that it's an equal playing field and that men are just as hard done by as women. We're not. There is an overwhelming majority of man-on-woman abuse cases, again fuelled by the mere fact that they are a man. Rape and abuse are more often times than not mechanisms of asserting dominance. This is true of man-on-man rape too of course. For instance, last year we had the Sayreville High School Football Team sexual abuse scandal where the older members of the team pinned down and raped four of the younger boys over a ten day period. This is an act of psychological hazing act to assert male dominance over the younger, more 'feminine' boys. It is an assertion of the state of 'manhood' and their masculinity. Now, obviously there are a number of reasons to commit rape; Nicholas Groth described what I believe are considered to be the three socially understood reasons for rape: power, anger and sadism. Perhaps because of explicit porn warping our minds towards what sex should be, perhaps because of our hyper-sexualised society, men have become entitled to sex and will use rape to assert this entitlement. I subscribe to the theory that rape and sexual assault, even physical assault exists to show dominance. It is the ultimate act of forcing your control over someone and it scars them for the rest of their lives. No matter what the case, male rape is far more prevalent in society. In the UK 5% of all women will be raped at some point in their lifetime. In the US the CDC puts that figure at 20%. The number of men raped in the US at some point in their life stands at roughly 17%. The majority of aggressors are male themselves. Feminism targets both genders and aims to reduce GBV in all its forms, but when the majority of people committing GBV are male, regardless of the victim, I don't see where you argument can go.
http://www.bls.gov/c...tabook-2011.pdf
That document explains the disparity in wages in the US on the grounds of gender and ethnicity, it shows that the median earnings in the USA are $42,800 for men and $34,700 for women, creating a 19% pay gap. Page 52 also shows that women earn significantly less--and have always done so--in average earnings, which takes out all the rich white male millionaires and focuses on John and Jane Doe. This is precisely why feminism is still important, because we are not at equality yet but plenty of people would rather ignore the issue because for whatever reason, they would rather be ignorant than acknowledge the truth and try to fight it.
Yes, you're absolutely right that things like maternity leave inequality are unfair, but I don't understand how this is incompatible with feminism? A successful feminist lobby has succeeded in forcing the Conservative and Labour governments here to pledge an inncrease to paternity leave, up to a month from two weeks. It's nowhere near the six months women get but it's a start. Some of the problem stems from patriarchal society which you have flagged up. Men are still expected to be the breadwinners, stay-at-home Dad are looked down upon as feminine or generally lacking in successful male qualities. This fucking sucks and it's an issue perpetuated by the assumption that men ought to toil at the office from nine till five whilst the woman cooks and cleans and changes baby's shitty nappy. Seriously are we still in the 1950s or something? If this is the general perception then things aren't changing fast enough and we absolutely do need feminism to de-construct this bizarre notion that there are places for men and women in work and in the home, based solely on their genitalia.
Fortunately, we're seeing steps in the right direction. However if you think it's 'nice' that it's socially acceptable to have a woman cooped up in a house all day with an infant then I think you need to take a long hard look at what you deem acceptable.
http://www.pwc.co.uk...ork-index.jhtml This site has plenty of statistically backed evidence that shows women in the workplace are not some small minority, and that actually 65% of women in Canada are at work.
On your point about women choosing more emotionally satisfying jobs that pay less; this is a case of nature versus nurture, you can't just write off a (supposed, I'd like to see the article you're talking about that proves this), majority of females that go into these careers solely based on biology. From incredibly young ages it is drilled into girls that they ought to grow up to do 'girly' jobs. It's why the building industry--one that I know well--is dominated by men. It's why on the enormous site I'm currently working on, there is one female manager for about 20 men. Again, feminism exists to remove these stereotypes and to say that actually, why can't men be nurses and carers? Why shouldn't women be managers or bankers or fucking lumberjacks if they want to be? Jobs ought not be restricted by what's in your pants.
Saying that if you have a daughter she will be more disadvantaged than you because she is female is exactly the sort of thinking that allows sexism to keep on trucking.
Bollocks. There's a difference between acknowledging and issue and perpetuating it. If you choose to ignore the problem then that's your prerogative. I choose to admit there is an issue and adapt my outlook to be a part of the solution precisely so that the next generation who inherit the world will have a better life than we did.
You see it as society having a dick swinging contest about who has it harder because, by what you're saying, it seems you live in an area where equality perhaps is less of an issue, either because it's swept under the carpet or you're lucky enough that men and women are for the most part reaching a point of parity. The rest of the world is not like this though, battles still need to be fought, feminism still fights them.
You're right, more divorce is instigated by women, it stands at roughly 66% here in England. It's potentially true that women will initiate a divorce more than men because the court environment weighs in their favour, it's also potentially true because more domestic abuse is faced by women in marriages, there are always two sides to a story. Furthermore, when you look at the long term cost vs benefit of divorce, men still come out on top. It is easier for a man to re-enter the job market and it has been observed by Cambridge Uni that a woman's wage will drop by about 31% immediately after divorce. It's still an issue and yes it seems that over all divorce is one of the few institutions that women have an advantage. It should be an equal playing field but as I keep saying, feminism doesn't exist to keep men under the yolk of oppression or something. It is the patriarchy which continues to perpetuate this issue when you consider the majority of judges and barristers are men.
Men do terrible things, terrible things don't happen because they are men.
So it's only about genetics when it benefits your argument?
To be honest half of what you've said would have me put you down as a feminist. Do you really disagree with feminism or simply the stigma?