10 replies to this topic

[BloodPrince 2.0]

It's really hard for my sister to find good harsh criticism from most of her friends. She's really into cinematography and is just starting to try out making her own videos. Her first super-short test film was finished the day before yesterday. Looking for opinions, she sent the link out to friends, but none had much to say other than "it's good", so she's understandably a bit disappointed with the lack of feedback. I thought I'd ask you guys for help, since you don't know her and thus might be less inclined to avoid hurting her feelings with harshness. Above all she values honesty, so if you have a rough opinion, please tell.

What she wants to know is if there's anything she needs to focus on improving in her filming and editing. Do you notice anything that bothers you or could use work?
Ignore my awkward crossdressing/acting, she needed a subject for her vid, so um.. yeah, that's why.. Moving on.

The video (0.5 Petra) -

[Wolf]

I don't really have much taste as far as short videos, but it seems neat enough.

 

The volume jump at 30 seconds could be a little more gradual, had me hop up and reach for the volume real fast

[BloodPrince 2.0]

Thanks for the input.

She says she can't change it now, but will keep in mind for future videos, and she thanks you for your help.

[fae]

I also noticed the volume jumps.. there are actually two of them I think (0.18 and 0.28). But i think the change from sepia to color was quite nicely done.

[BloodPrince 2.0]

My sister says your comment was really helpful, she's grateful you took the time to mention your observations.

[DeadChannel]

Okay, so, I know a little about this stuff, having similar filmmaking aspirations, so I'll bite. I'll go shot by shot.

 

 

0:00 So, this is a bit jarring. I'd start to fix it by adding a fade at the start. People's brains are sort of trained to expect a fade in at the start, so unless you have a good reason, you'll want to add one. 

Also, although you don't want a lot of empty space in something this sort, you might want to add a second or two before the character comes on screen. Just a small beat for editing reasons. 

That being said, the framing is nice, and I dug the texture on the boards. 

 

0:02 The cut here conveys motion well. I also like that you chose to focus on the, like, stick or something on the ground. The horizontal lines are nice, and it conveys a lot of depth.

 

However, I think you spend a little too long here. I'm not sure how to remedy this, because the character actually has to move from one point to the other, though. Idk if it'll work, but I'd have given a jump cut a shot.

 

0:10 The composition here feels a bit dull. Sort of unbalanced, but not in an arty good way. Try some other angles for stuff like this. Also, we don't actually see her reach up to open the lock, which means that the cutaway coming up next is really jarring.

 

0:12 I'm not 100% sure w/r/t emotional motivations for going all dutch, but that's okay because it's actually a very cool shot, visually. That said, it sort of fails to capture motion. It might be better if you moved the camera back so we see her reaching up to open the lock. That, in conjunction with doing the same thing on the previous shot, might help. 

 

0:16 Not a lot going on here, but it's an important shot to move from one location to the other. Short, too the point and effective, which is important in something this short.

 

0:17 See above. Also, wtf is clip speed? 

 

0:22 This is cool, except that the camera sort of screws it up. The trees start out dark, then the camera adjusts to the character walking over it, so the trees become light. Then they become dark again. Most people won't notice this, but it's something to look into.

That said, I like how you're conveying the fact that she's walked a good distance. Without a lot of context and references, cuts help to convey the passage of time, which you did well.

 

0:24 Shooting through the ladder is cool, but some of the stuff in the background looks a little blown out, although it's hard to tell. 

 

0:34 Good framing, nice bokeh etc. A little shaky, but that might've been on purpose

 

0:36 See above

 

0:38 The shore makes for a nice horizontal line, but I'd move it down a bit and maybe shoot a big wider

 

0:39 I really like these low walking shots, and there's plenty going on in the frame. Good job.

 

0:41 This feels kind of videoish. Like, it looks like someone following hold a camera, which is technically what it is. However, giving that impression should be avoided, unless you have a good reason.

 

0:45 This branch is nice. You seem to like shooting through objects, which I'm really liking. Adds a lot of interest to the image.

 

So, I skipped a few shots that I didn't think needed discussing, but I hope that you get something out of my criticism. Oh, and wait till rob shows up. I think he has some formal training in film production maybe? 

[BloodPrince 2.0]

Firstly, my sister wants you to know she really appreciates your critique and plans to reference it while going back over the video, to better study your points. Then she added a few comments in reply:

-I get what you mean about fading in. Unfortunately, the only option I had was to fade in directly from black, which i didn't feel like doing. In addition, I've watched lots of videos(professional and non) for learning purposes, and I can't remember any that started with a fade in.
-The camera used for this project is the built in one on my iPhone 5c, which is what I used to film and edit the entire thing. Until I get a good camera I'll have to work with this one. The lighting up was probably because of the poor quality of the camera.
-This is also where ClipSpeed comes in: since my phone is an older model, iMovie wouldn't let me speed up that walking shot so I had to use another app - ClipSpeed - to get the effect I wanted. The app places a watermark on the edited video, so that's why it has that.
-The part with the videoish feel was intentional. Since I really admire Devin Graham's work I tried halfway imitating his style, which includes shots similar to that one. Since at these stages I'm still very new to this and I haven't yet developed my own style, I'm going for a similar feel to what his videos have before branching off. In general, I'm snatching techniques that pleases me from all over just for this starting point.

[seakingtheonixpected]

No one is going to mention the panty shot at 0:22, shame!

 

The only things I really noticed that that bothered me are:

1) that gate sound near the beginning is a bit much. It would probably be better to cut the audio and play a fake sound so she can have it be perfect.

2) the massive sound level leap right after that. Maybe a fade up gradient? Also the two sound levels are really far apart meaning I had to adjust the sound once it shot up, usually not something you want your audience to do.

[BloodPrince 2.0]

We actually slowed down that shot later to observe closely and found out the legs entirely block out the view. But hm, if you like the shot I certainly don't mind. Perv

Thanks for your input, I'll relay your opinions to my sister in the morning.

[Aster1391]

I'm not an expert in film/video making or anything, I can just say what I think as a profane it could be a question of personal tastes, but I found the first sequence (until she opens the gate) quite static. Propably because the music already playing gives a mixed signal: on one side it looks like the "real thing" has begun already, on the other side the static camera gives the feeling of a kind of "introduction" (again, I may be misinterpreting everything, if it's so, I'm sorry!). I personally find the idea of the opening part detached from the rest of the video very nice, but I would then rather play no music at all and make it start after she opens the gate. Then, I would just make a close-up of the hands opening the gate, but not of the legs, because I have the feeling that it's too disconnected from both the frames of her going towards the gate and of her opening it. I would also avoid the speed-up part, since it really breaks the rhythm of the walking part. That first part is what I found mostly "disturbing" (I don't want to use this word, it's really too strong, but I'm not English mothertongue and I can't find a synonym right now! Apologies!), because on one side is too connected with the rest of the video through the music, but on the other side the change of angolation and speed breaks the fluidity of the whole shot. I hope what I just wrote makes sense somehow ^^''

[BloodPrince 2.0]

Thanks for the criticism, it's very much appreciated.