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Leelah Alcorn

transgender suicide

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#1 BloodPrince 2.0

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Posted 30 December 2014 - 06:49 PM

Who else has heard about Leelah? She's a trans woman who committed suicide this weekend.
Odd thing is from what I heard, her parents tried to make it look like an accident, her getting run over, but her suicide note on Tumblr says otherwise.

http://lazerprincess...38/suicide-note
Google for more information.

Damn it. I feel extremely shaken. Trying not to cry.
This is so wrong but so fucking common for trans people.
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#2 Launch

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Posted 30 December 2014 - 07:00 PM

This is all over Tumblr right now. Yeah, the mom revealed just what a massive cunt she is by trying to play it off as an accident and referring to Leelah as a boy and calling her "Joshua". Her Facebook seems to have been deleted, but not before people got as much information off it as they could. 

 

Her parents were those over-the-top Christians that sent her to "therapy" where she was told "God doesn't make mistakes" and that she was in the wrong. 

 

People like this shouldn't have kids. Instead of threatening her with Hell, Leelah needed to know she wasn't alone, been directed towards a support group for teens like her, and allowed to transition. 

 

I'm scared to death that her mother will make sure she's dressed as a boy for burial and put "Joshua" on the tombstone. 


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#3 BloodPrince 2.0

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Posted 30 December 2014 - 07:11 PM

Fuck her. Fuck both her idiot parents.

This hurts so much. That could have been me had I been brave enough to let my parents know more about me. I recognize this attitude from my own mom who threatened to send me to therapy when I showed I was slightly depressed not long ago. Ha. Some therapy that would be with only Christian, Russian-speaking (she insisted that they speak the language she understands so she could butt in if I say anything "wrong") therapists. Plus she ordered me not to admit that I'd been molested as a child, if asked. Why do parents like this even exist??
Fuck overly religious assholes.
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#4 Affray

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Posted 30 December 2014 - 09:47 PM

That is unfortunate, and entirely depressing, but I can't help but be a bit annoyed.

I always get a little hot spot in the back of my head when someone ends their life and honestly thinks it is the only option they have.

There is always, always some semblance of control in the hands of the person suffering, no matter how hopeless everything may seem.

Killing yourself because you are treated like a pariah amongst family and friends then leaving a note that ends with "Fix society. Please." is the weakest shit imaginable.

This person was content becoming a number and hoped that that number would shock people in to changing their attitude and revolutionise the world for all sexual identities instead of remaining alive and starting a support group, or a rally, or absolutely anything other than suicide.

 

I know I probably sound like a prick, but it bothers me so much when people commit suicide for any reason.

I just feel like there is always so much more that a person can accomplish if they just stuck it out and saw what happened.

Pain is temporary, besting your oppressors and ending up on top of the pile is forever.


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#5 Launch

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Posted 30 December 2014 - 09:55 PM

That is unfortunate, and entirely depressing, but I can't help but be a bit annoyed.

I always get a little hot spot in the back of my head when someone ends their life and honestly thinks it is the only option they have.

There is always, always some semblance of control in the hands of the person suffering, no matter how hopeless everything may seem.

Killing yourself because you are treated like a pariah amongst family and friends then leaving a note that ends with "Fix society. Please." is the weakest shit imaginable.

This person was content becoming a number and hoped that that number would shock people in to changing their attitude and revolutionise the world for all sexual identities instead of remaining alive and starting a support group, or a rally, or absolutely anything other than suicide.

 

I know I probably sound like a prick, but it bothers me so much when people commit suicide for any reason.

I just feel like there is always so much more that a person can accomplish if they just stuck it out and saw what happened.

Pain is temporary, besting your oppressors and ending up on top of the pile is forever.

 

But that's the problem with depression: It consumes your mind and genuinely makes you think you're stuck and things will only get worse. You get into such a bad place that dropping the pencil you were using on the floor is actually enough to make you burst into tears. 

 

Leelah needed help badly, no one was there for her, and she heard incorrect information from someone. She thought she was too old to start the gender transitioning process which is false. Especially when you're all alone it's difficult to know what your options are to correct your situation and start to become happy again. 

 

I understand where you are coming from, though. I always shake my head when I hear about kids bullied at school who end their lives. I know it's hard, but you won't be in school forever. However, we can't know what they're feeling and what's going on inside their heads. The best thing we can do is not judge and keep an eye out for people in our lives who may need a wake up call that suicide isn't the answer. 

 

...I suck balls at expressing my feelings and making sense. I hope I did OK here >< 


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#6 BloodPrince 2.0

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Posted 30 December 2014 - 10:02 PM

I wonder about that, Affray.
I do understand where you're coming from, but sometimes there isn't much left to live for. I used to get annoyed with this too, even when I myself felt suicidal. But really? What is life truly about?

This is a very unromantic way to put it, but the human lifecycle is not as important as our emotions say it is. It's the same as any animal's. The basics are be born and slowly die for the rest of your life, and in the meanwhile mate. When I realized this, life became even more meaningless for me. Thus I never feel angry anymore when someone commits suicide.
Because what is the point.
Is there a point?

If life is to be enjoyed, and you are not enjoying it, why do you need it?
I genuinely wonder about this.
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#7 Bowsette

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Posted 30 December 2014 - 10:25 PM

But that's the problem with depression: It consumes your mind and genuinely makes you think you're stuck and things will only get worse. You get into such a bad place that dropping the pencil you were using on the floor is actually enough to make you burst into tears. 

 

Leelah needed help badly, no one was there for her, and she heard incorrect information from someone. She thought she was too old to start the gender transitioning process which is false. Especially when you're all alone it's difficult to know what your options are to correct your situation and start to become happy again. 

 

I understand where you are coming from, though. I always shake my head when I hear about kids bullied at school who end their lives. I know it's hard, but you won't be in school forever. However, we can't know what they're feeling and what's going on inside their heads. The best thing we can do is not judge and keep an eye out for people in our lives who may need a wake up call that suicide isn't the answer. 

 

...I suck balls at expressing my feelings and making sense. I hope I did OK here >< 

I am with Affray entirely. As somebody who has struggled with depression for... I want to say at least ten years (though I only sought professional help around 2010), suicide is fucking stupid. I've tried doing it before, and even now I hate the person I was for being that much of a coward. And then I look at the events that led up to my suicide attempts. And I look at my life now. It was basically a system shock, the realisation that, had I succeeded in killing myself, I wouldn't be where I am right now. I wouldn't have my daughter, or my fiancée. I wouldn't have my own place, I wouldn't have my friends, I wouldn't have anything. I'd be worm food. I wouldn't go to heaven and I wouldn't go to hell, I'd just be rotting flesh in a box, decaying and rotting. Yes, depression is a horrible thing, but giving up is the stupid option. Because if you take your life, it never gets better. If you keep fighting, sure. It might get worse. You might spend night after painful night alone, crying, and staring at that knife. Imagining the release as you slide it across your body. But fuck that. Scars heal, and life can get better if you set your mind to it. Pussying out is something I can't respect. I don't care if you're gay, straight, cis, trans, or what-the-fuck-ever else Tumblr invents to feel like a special snowflake. You don't make your mark on the world by quitting. You make your mark by taking the hits, rolling with it, and fighting back. Take whatever is thrown at you and slam-dunk it right back.

 

Now for something a bit harsh, and I don't care if it pisses people off. If you're sensitive about this kind of shit, don't read it.

Spoiler

 

A tragic, meaningless death, when life would have been so much more.


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#8 BloodPrince 2.0

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Posted 30 December 2014 - 10:58 PM

Being "good people" isn't enough. Brains are extremely important to have a good life.
They should consider that their god made this kid's preferences different for a reason. He created this brain and its thoughts - does he not have control over this then? He makes no mistakes - this child was meant to feel like a woman despite having a man's body. That can't be a mistake, can it?

Fuck religion.
There are so many self contradictions and yet people let themselves become fucking twisted by it and ruin other peoples' lives. There are hundreds of people who used their brains and realized that something is wrong, and stuck with it despite the terrible earthquake of fear that comes with your beliefs being shaken. Do not tell me that girl was a coward when her trash parents are just as hellfucking cowardly for not facing the truth just because it makes them afraid.
"Confusing, scary thing"? Does that sound like something you should escape instead of facing head-on?
Criticize a child for running away from fear, and not her parents for also running away from fear? I am disgusted!
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#9 Bowsette

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Posted 30 December 2014 - 11:10 PM

Well, no. They didn't run away, because in their mindset, running away would mean allowing their child to do something which in their minds was an affront to God. So they were facing that dead-on. They confronted the issue, and they exercised their legal right as parents in the manner they saw fit. From a subjective viewpoint, of course. They're the scum of the earth, shouldn't be allowed to have kids, etc etc all that crap. But then you have to look at it from a different perspective. The main brunt of the information we have comes from, for better or worse, an emotional teen's mind. I don't know about anyone else, but when I was a teenager, sometimes I blew shit out of proportion. Sometimes I lied about things. Sometimes I made up stories for attention, or to paint myself in a better light, or a thousand other reasons. I'm not saying Leelah was a liar. I'm just not believing everything. I think the truth is between Leelah, the parents, and whichever deity out there happens to preside over our shitty, wet, spherical spaceship.

 

And, minor pet peeve, but complaining that the mother used "Joshua" instead of "Leelah"? Why? Is Leelah a legal given name on his/her identification, birth certificate, etc? Pretty sure no. I want to be called Shiro, but since it isn't my legal given name, I don't demand people call me it and get incensed when they don't >_>


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#10 BloodPrince 2.0

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Posted 30 December 2014 - 11:17 PM

Want me to call you Shiro? I wouldn't mind. haha

You're right that it was that way in their view, but having been christian myself once, I spit upon them for not looking at the logical side despite fears. Smh..
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strangers, acquaintances, friends, or enemies all around.”

#11 Bowsette

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Posted 30 December 2014 - 11:23 PM

I meant more in a real-life scenario, since I basically lived my life through my teen years and beyond by writing fantasy stories about a girl named Shiro :P But, unless I opt for the legal route, that wouldn't happen. Which is the same as it is with Leelah. Legal name: Joshua. Nobody could change that but him, and now that's impossible. So I really dislike the social justice warriors raging about it, when it's just another example of something that could have gotten better in he just kept with it instead of giving up. Not to mention there are mental health facilities and doctors he could have seen and talked to about it, so it just feels like if every avenue had been looked at, this topic wouldn't exist, and maybe a couple years down the line Leelah would be happy. Buuuut... >_>

 

I too am an ex-Christian, which is exactly why I can empathize with the parents. I was just like them, I believed God was infallible. If something bad happened, it was for a reason. If something good happened, it was for a reason. All according to God's will. So I completely understand their reaction. I may not fully agree with it, but I understand the how and why of it.


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#12 Calvary

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Posted 01 January 2015 - 03:37 AM

I feel terribly sorry for her. She was just a kid, no one deserves to be bullied for anything, especially by their parents. Also anyone who says suicide is selfish and all that bull shit doesn't understand suicide and is plenty more selfish than those who end their life.

I'd be happy to elaborate when I'm not on my phone, this is something I feel really strongly about.

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#13 fae

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Posted 01 January 2015 - 04:49 AM

I think that suicide is no solution for anything. It's like breaking the game because you are loosing. But i understand that someone may be so desperate that they dont see any other solution.
I agree that the parents shouldnt have reacted like they did but most teenagers dont get along with their parents very well.. and there are always places to go and someone to talk to. Especially with all that internet today..

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#14 Calvary

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Posted 01 January 2015 - 05:03 AM

First off, I'd begin by saying religion is no excuse to ostracise someone or expel them from your family unit. My Dad comes from an Irish Catholic family, he himself is a Catholic and I was baptised and raised as one for about sixteen years. When I told my father I am an atheist he was surprised but nothing changed, he came to accept this as who I am. When I came out as pansexual last year to my parents again, my Dad quickly learnt to come to terms with this as a part of me and put religion aside, choosing love for his son instead. Using religion to excuse shit behaviour is pathetic. If you show your children anything except love and acceptance then you are a fucking low life and ought not to have kids.

 

I'm surprised at your opinion, Cait. As someone who has struggled with depression and is not heterosexual, I'd have assumed you could have sympathised or come to understand that if shit keeps building up for years and years and you feel like you can't escape your situation, sometimes it becomes supposedly clear that suicide is the only option. It's terrible for Leelah and one ought to feel nothing but the very deepest sympathy for her situation as she is, in effect a child. A Child who has been told she is "wrong" simply for existing. Death is a very potent thing and suicide can be the ultimate fuck you to your tormentors. That's not to suggest I think every other possible option should be explored before coming to that conclusion but the girl obviously didn't have that support network lots of people take for granted. If she lived in a conservative area where mental health, sexuality and acceptance is a taboo then where could she go to feel normal or get help?

 

America suffers from terrible institutionalised hatred towards trans people. Hell most of the world does. Until we come to the basic understanding that: if something doesn't effect you, who gives a fucking damn, we aren't going to see any positive social change in the way we deal with these issues. You know what...this isn't even about that. This has nothing to do with the ethics of suicide, it's about a girl whose life was so shit she felt the only way out was to end it for good.

 

I know we have some trans members so I'd be interested to see their input if they feel comfortable doing so.

 

With a lot of the responses on this thread I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't.


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#15 Bowsette

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Posted 01 January 2015 - 09:53 AM

I'm surprised at your opinion, Cait. As someone who has struggled with depression and is not heterosexual, I'd have assumed you could have sympathised or come to understand that if shit keeps building up for years and years and you feel like you can't escape your situation, sometimes it becomes supposedly clear that suicide is the only option. It's terrible for Leelah and one ought to feel nothing but the very deepest sympathy for her situation as she is, in effect a child. A Child who has been told she is "wrong" simply for existing. Death is a very potent thing and suicide can be the ultimate fuck you to your tormentors. That's not to suggest I think every other possible option should be explored before coming to that conclusion but the girl obviously didn't have that support network lots of people take for granted. If she lived in a conservative area where mental health, sexuality and acceptance is a taboo then where could she go to feel normal or get help?

 

See:

I am with Affray entirely. As somebody who has struggled with depression for... I want to say at least ten years (though I only sought professional help around 2010), suicide is fucking stupid. I've tried doing it before, and even now I hate the person I was for being that much of a coward. And then I look at the events that led up to my suicide attempts. And I look at my life now. It was basically a system shock, the realisation that, had I succeeded in killing myself, I wouldn't be where I am right now. I wouldn't have my daughter, or my fiancée. I wouldn't have my own place, I wouldn't have my friends, I wouldn't have anything. I'd be worm food. I wouldn't go to heaven and I wouldn't go to hell, I'd just be rotting flesh in a box, decaying and rotting. Yes, depression is a horrible thing, but giving up is the stupid option. Because if you take your life, it never gets better. If you keep fighting, sure. It might get worse. You might spend night after painful night alone, crying, and staring at that knife. Imagining the release as you slide it across your body. But fuck that. Scars heal, and life can get better if you set your mind to it. Pussying out is something I can't respect. I don't care if you're gay, straight, cis, trans, or what-the-fuck-ever else Tumblr invents to feel like a special snowflake. You don't make your mark on the world by quitting. You make your mark by taking the hits, rolling with it, and fighting back. Take whatever is thrown at you and slam-dunk it right back.

Like I said, I've done it before. I'm very well-versed in the finer points of suicide and suicidal ideation, and I can confidently say it's a selfish act. There's no thought for any of the people who may care about you, there's no thought towards a future. Life doesn't owe you a living, life doesn't owe you shit. Yeah, at the time it looks like it's the only way, the sole method of getting rid of the pain you feel. But it's not. The pain is a symptom of the disease. Treat it at the source, and you treat the symptoms. You can be happy if you work for it and persevere. Leelah didn't. So yes, I do think she was a coward. I think she was weak. Plenty of people like her have gone through the same things and worse, and come out the other side bright, happy people living full, enjoyable lives, surrounded by people who love and accept them. She could have had that.

 

Instead, she's just a statistic now, a number people will forget about once Tumblr finds something new to crusade against. *shrugs* She could have made a real difference. Campaigned for trans rights, worked with charities and whatnot, there are so many things she could have done to actually work for the cause she wanted to champion. Of course, hindsight is 20/20. But she must have been clinically blind not to see this. She could have fought with all her might, but she didn't. She rolled over and died because mommy didn't like her. And that's something I cannot respect. Ever. Like I said, I've been there. I don't respect the girl I used to be. I'd slap her if I could. I'd slap her until she was bruised as hell, grab her by the throat and shake some sense into her, because the girl I used to be was an idiot who thought a permanent solution was the only way. The girl I used to be believed that being dead would make her happy. 

 

The girl I used to be was fucking retarded.


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#16 BloodPrince 2.0

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Posted 01 January 2015 - 02:26 PM

This is why I'm pretty successful at talking people out of suicide - because I on the other hand do not come to think I was stupid for that. I understand that it's not stupid and cowardly, it's just goodbye to shit. People accuse us of "giving up" and say it's cowardly, but look around you. What are we supposedly giving up? A mating cycle? Lame.
You say we won't go to heaven or hell, and that's supposedly a bad thing. It's not really that bad. You don't feel worms chewing you, because your body is dead. What you will feel is nothing. Literally, nothing. If you ask me, nothing is better than happiness. In nothing, you don't even feel a need for happiness. It's out of this world, aye?
And honestly? I think her suicide method of changing things has been a huge explosive success. There a petition right now for "Leelahs's Law" that has been signed nearly enough times already, to help make conversion therapy illegal. Why did this never happen before her death? Before you say she will be forgotten, keep in mind what a huge impact she's having on us. I for one will never forget her.
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other of many exchanges between a multitude of
strangers, acquaintances, friends, or enemies all around.”

#17 The Seldom Seen Kid

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Posted 01 January 2015 - 08:27 PM

Ugh religion, especially christianity is so gross.



#18 BloodPrince 2.0

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Posted 01 January 2015 - 10:12 PM

Hallelujah amen.
“The exchange went unnoticed by the world, just one
other of many exchanges between a multitude of
strangers, acquaintances, friends, or enemies all around.”

#19 Mister Sympa

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Posted 02 January 2015 - 04:39 PM

I'll come back when I have time to fully devote.


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#20 Launch

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Posted 03 January 2015 - 04:10 PM

https://www.change.o...rue-remembrance

 

There's even a petition going to have the name "Leelah" on the tombstone since most people realize the name she wanted to be called that aligned with the gender the identified as is different than some weeaboo teen wanting to be called Shiro. 

 

That's all the more I'm going to say. A shame this thread got so derailed. 


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