32 replies to this topic

[(V) (`m`) (V) ︵ ┻━┻]

I sat here for a while just trying to think of something to say to all that.

I honestly don't even know how to begin..

The fact that you're still here after all of that is a testament to your strength and determination.
I don't know too many people that could endure all of that pain and find the will to go on.
But you have..
So throughout all of that.. Every bad memory, every sleepless night, every tear-stained pillow, every betrayal, every cuss word and insult and put down thrown your way.. you have managed to find something that kept you going.

You need to concentrate on that.
That you do have it in you to overcome all of this.
That you don't need these people that are clearly beneath you to help you through any of it.
You're capable of it all by yourself.
And that is something your baby girl will look up to for a lifetime.

[Lord_Zamboodu]

My daughter is my inspiration, she is such an amazing little girl. On christmas day, at 8 years old, came up to me and gave me a big hug looked in my eyes and said I love you daddy please always remember you and me always have each other. No one can take this from us. Then told me for christmas I really really sad daddy. I asked why. She started crying and said for christmas I wanted to heal your heart. I wish I didn't have to look in your eyes and see such sadness and hurt. I wish I could fix this and make it all better for you. I had to walk away and tear up for a while. That a 8 year old was so wise she told me this and understood just blew me away.

[(V) (`m`) (V) ︵ ┻━┻]

My daughter is my inspiration, she is such an amazing little girl. On christmas day, at 8 years old, came up to me and gave me a big hug looked in my eyes and said I love you daddy please always remember you and me always have each other. No one can take this from us. Then told me for christmas I really really sad daddy. I asked why. She started crying and said for christmas I wanted to heal your heart. I wish I didn't have to look in your eyes and see such sadness and hurt. I wish I could fix this and make it all better for you. I had to walk away and tear up for a while. That a 8 year old was so wise she told me this and understood just blew me away.

Oh man, wow..
That opened up the floodgates.

No matter what happens in your life from this moment on, you need to always remember that and think about what it would do to her if anything happened to you.

You have the ability to make her realize at a young age that even when things look impossible, there's still a way.

[Lord_Zamboodu]

ya a gate student who is wise way way way beyond her years, very pretty and smart...............I am so in trouble during her teen years. I already get in trouble cause I spoil her rotten and she has me wrapped around her finger. I might, if you would liked, priately send you a pic of her. Just won't ever post pics of her publicly. I am anal when it comes to protecting her.

[(V) (`m`) (V) ︵ ┻━┻]

I know the feel. >.>

And yeah, I understand completely.

I have 2 kids myself and I rarely talk about them to people, let alone show pics.

But sure, if you'd like to show me I'll upload one of them too if you wanna see.

[Lord_Zamboodu]

private message send with the amazing one included :-D

[(V) (`m`) (V) ︵ ┻━┻]

Okily dokily neighborooni.

[Lord_Zamboodu]

sent and received your rug rat pics. I do hope things get better. Pretty lonely now feeling so betrayed, as that story stated, not really willing to make friends or find it really hard too now. I appreciate someone actually listening. Haven't really had that as of yet so it is greatly appreciated :-D.

[(V) (`m`) (V) ︵ ┻━┻]

I hope so too, you deserve it.
I honestly don't blame you, but it'll be good for you to be able to learn to trust again.

I'm really glad.
I'm happy you feel safe enough here to open up.
Means a lot.

[Lord_Zamboodu]

honestly it not feeling safe more of a desperate move. I was and still am on the edge of suicide.........but who blames me after all that. Sadly my daughter was not even preventing those thoughts anymore. I was hoping that doing this to someone would pull be back from the edge. As you know I lost all these "friends" I thought I had so had no one to talk to and had to bottle it all up which I think has reached a breaking point.

[(V) (`m`) (V) ︵ ┻━┻]

I'm sorrie you still feel that way.
I have those moments too, but as I go to therapy and take my meds it's getting better.
I think you really need to try to find some kind of support for yourself medically.
Have you ever heard of TWLOHA?
They have a lot of really good information there.
http://www.twloha.com/find-help/

[Lord_Zamboodu]

honestly a head doctor is recommending medicinal mary jane just cause all the problems from it; lack of eating at all, not able to sleep, depression, nightmares. So I might look into that. I just really hate meds they have never worked

[(V) (`m`) (V) ︵ ┻━┻]

Whatever works, as long as it works.

I can understand that completely.
I've gone through multiple meds for depression twice now and had to do the same for my son with his ADHD..
It's not fun in the slightest.

We were both lucky enough to find meds that seem to be working rather well for us.

But honestly, you need some kind of outside help that talking will never achieve as much as I'd like to hope it would.
I hope you're able to get it soon.