1682 replies to this topic

[Elfie]

I fought against getting him at first, because all the training would be on me. But doing the work really made me bond.

[Affray]

I fought against getting him at first, because all the training would be on me. But doing the work really made me bond.

Try to take solace in the fact that you gave that dog comfort and love in its life, and that received the same.

 

Rob: That is pretty rough as far as things go.

I had a few friends and acquaintances die very young when I was in high school.

It is never something that you forget.

So all we can do is not piss away what we still have.

[The Robstar]

Rob: That is pretty rough as far as things go.

I had a few friends and acquaintances die very young when I was in high school.

It is never something that you forget.

So all we can do is not piss away what we still have.

I only met his 3 times. He was one of my brothers inlaws.

Just kinda made me think that he didn't even get the chance to explore the world. Most of my travelling occured after I turned 21, I feel like I've seen so much.... 

 

Kinda made me grateful for the things I get to look frward to in life.

 

r.i.p Thomas. 

 

Not really depressed, just every1 in the family is a bit down atm. 

[cassXgoesXmeow]

Death can be hard no matter how close you are to a person. At least for me, it was makes me question things currently in my life and then I always start thinking of all the things that person isn't going to be able to or all the things they are going to miss. It a dark occurrence and it has a way of snatching your heart strings.

[Mister Sympa]

Spoiler because long.

Spoiler

So, I'm at work, listening to MST3k, feeling fine, and then someone mentions a sandwich. My brain thinks sandwitch, peanut butter and jelly, pb&j at my parents' house, and then I'm super depressed because I want that badly. I was at the house literally two days ago, and in general, it's not a healthy place for me to be. But my brain latches onto these things and won't let me go. It's like it refuses to even look at reality. I know I'm reaching for comfort; it's just that nothing seems to help. I feel like I have a bleeding wound that won't clot sometimes.

Did I mention that a few weeks ago I almost called a hospital to commit myself? I know from someone else's firsthand account that they're hell, though, so I didn't.

It's so hard not to just give up and run screaming through the streets.

I wish I could do something for myself, like go somewhere else for a while, but I'm terrified that I'll totally screw us financially and we can't afford it in the first place.

I'm even scared of winter coming because of how bad the last one was. I was unepmloyed through the whole thing. We couldn't afford heat and we could almost afford food.

So.

Thanks for listening, you guys. It really helps knowing that you're here.

[Elfie]

I'm sorry that you are attached to something unhealthy. I've been there. I know the push and pull. I have pretty bad anxiety so the overwhelming stress can be terrifying, and running away and disappearing is a feeling I've felt many times. You know, I've found that reminding myself that life continues and this period will end helps a lot. Things will get better. No matter how far in life you get, big bad things will still happen. That's probably the hardest pill I've had to swallow. You CAN do this, because you have to ALWAYS here

[SushiKitten]

Sympa I'm so sorry to hear that.. I really hope things get better for you soon.

 

We'll always be hear to listen and offer support the best we can.

 

EDIT: well said elf. 

[Akiyo]

Sympa... I wish from the bottom of my heart that I could somehow aid you, more than just sharing these empty words.

 

I hope you understand that I will with these lines with as much love as I possibly can.

 

If you focus your energy on the tragic outcomes in life, then you miss out on the chance to move forward.

 

Negativity is like a poison spreading to everyone around you. I almost want to say don't be afraid to cut unhealthy ties,

 

but I, too, know from experience that is extremely difficult.

 

I couldn't possibly understand what you're going through, but I know I've worked for years to strengthen my mind and

 

change myself for the better. I ripped myself out of anxiety, deep depression and suicidal thoughts.

 

You can do whatever you set your mind to.

 

<3

[Mister Sympa]

Sympa... I wish from the bottom of my heart that I could somehow aid you, more than just sharing these empty words.

<3

Akiyo,

that actually made me cry. They're not empty. Thank you.

[Mister Sympa]

Thanks a ton, Sushi.

 

No matter how far in life you get, big bad things will still happen. That's probably the hardest pill I've had to swallow.

Oh my god, why did I not actually realize that? It's like, I know, but to put it in those terms...

That was, strangely, extremely comforting.

[Paranormalist]

A few years ago, I went through a rough break up. It was full of complication. She had a daughter that I thought of as my own. After the break up, I tried to reinvent myself. It didn't go well, I lost my mind and my friends wanted nothing to do with me. They started gaming with her, and left me in the dust. It drive me more and more insane. It didn't help that I had been taking more of my anti depressants than I should have.

Long story short, I lost literally every one of my friends. I gained some more, but lost those, too, due to lack of time between work and kids.

A phrase I used with my ex wife's dad (after his 5th divorce) was "Eventually, you need to realize it's you and not them."

So now, irl, I have zero friends and spend all my time gaming or drinking.

So... there's my depression story. If I were a tarot card, I'd be "The Hermit".

[Elfie]

Thanks a ton, Sushi.


Oh my god, why did I not actually realize that? It's like, I know, but to put it in those terms...
That was, strangely, extremely comforting.

I'm glad always here

[Elfie]

Hey! I was on anti depressants and they made me completely disconnect. During that time period of 6 months I was the worst mom I've ever been (just reclusive, my son was feed, and washed) but not interaction. That still haunts me but that's another story. I've also tried to be someone I'm not. It lead to me looking like a fool, and having no friends. I'm sorry that your alone.

[Paranormalist]

It wasn't the antidepressants fault, truly. It's because I didn't take them consistently, and also, would take too many.

And being alone sucks, but I am turning what I've gone through into lessons my kids can learn through me. Make a positive out of a negative. While I may go through my life alone, that doesn't mean they should!

[cassXgoesXmeow]

I think that is one of the worst feelings in the world is to feel alone. Coming home to an empty house and there is just nothing to welcome you. It can really mess with your head. I use to try so hard to surround myself with people to escape the alone feeling. That has led to sometimes changing who I am to have people stick around. But eventually I learned that sometimes you only can rely on you and you have to be okay with being alone.

[fae]

I think that is one of the worst feelings in the world is to feel alone. Coming home to an empty house and there is just nothing to welcome you. It can really mess with your head. I use to try so hard to surround myself with people to escape the alone feeling. That has led to sometimes changing who I am to have people stick around. But eventually I learned that sometimes you only can rely on you and you have to be okay with being alone.

I agree.. I hate it to get home to an empty house... that's why I still live with my parents on the weekends and I have a room in a shared apartment where i go to school (i mean it's also to save money) .. I just feel much better if there are other people that i could talk to and share a meal or a drink...

[Paranormalist]

A

[SushiKitten]

I guess this isn't depression more than privileged complaining. 

 

One of the downsides to my program is you don't get a break. There is a mandatory 4 work terms you have to complete to graduate, so you come out with ~1.5 years of work experience, 2 years maximum if you take advantage of all 6 opportunities. But it means that after first year, it is academic term, work term, academic term, work term, over and over for four years until you graduate. Aside from the one week break between semesters, you consistently have to wake up early every weekday morning for either a job or for a class. 

 

Compare that to my friends, who all get summer break and like to stay up super late. They're asking me to come hang out with them at like 10pm on a weeknight and I hate declining offers in fear that they'll stop inviting me places, and I'm fine and it's all fun, until I realize it's 1am -- I have to get up at 7am -- and then I'm just counting down the hours I have to actually sleep. Eventually I end up falling asleep around 2am and because I don't have a car, I have to be driven back home. I hate it because I'm always the first one to fall asleep. This happened last night and I sort of mentioned groggily that I felt bad for breaking up the fun so early, and my friend who's known for saying things that can come out unintentionally mean says "yeah don't worry, we kind of expect it from you." So idk maybe I should stop accepting invitations after a certain time of night, I value my sleep too much and hate feeling like a party pooper, heh.

 

But I mean on the upside, I'm also getting paid like $17/hour on work terms so I can pay my own way through school, I'll graduate with only the $10k in debt it took to get through first year. I just feel like I'm growing up too fast tho, I feel too much like an adult. 

[Elfie]

I understand what you mean by growing up too fast. But honestly when it's all done, you'll be free and have an education and experience. Two very awesome things. I had to grow up at 18. So I didnt go out and get drunk like others my age, or date, or hang out like them. But when my kids are at a certain age, I will be free, and they most likely won't. My youngest will be 18 when I'm 44. That's pretty groovy! So everything has it's perks. I think getting it out of the way will pay off and you'll be happy you did it

[SushiKitten]

I understand what you mean by growing up too fast. But honestly when it's all done, you'll be free and have an education and experience. Two very awesome things. I had to grow up at 18. So I didnt go out and get drunk like others my age, or date, or hang out like them. But when my kids are at a certain age, I will be free, and they most likely won't. My youngest will be 18 when I'm 44. That's pretty groovy! So everything has it's perks. I think getting it out of the way will pay off and you'll be happy you did it

Very true elf! It's just hard to see your friends being free and you want to join them but blah. It'll be worth it in the end but I'll still brood like a kid about it.