1682 replies to this topic

[The Seldom Seen Kid]

...which is code for "in the closet"

 

Then again, now that you mention in, I believe it was around the time I fell in love with my navy skinny fit double breasted peacoat I realised I had an insatiable lust for a bombardment of penis.

[The Robstar]

Hahaha I might be a bit metro. But my friends call me a hipster.

 

I don't mind people thinking that I'm 'In the closet' because once the girls lower their guard..... *PLOW!!!!!* Pregnant.

 

Haha Also depends where i am, in my hometown I'm a freak (population 30k) but in the bigger cities I'm a trend setting god!!!!!

[Elfie]

I literally just found out my fiancé was cheating on me. I feel like complete crap. I'm sobbing. I feel ugly, and dumb that I thought he wouldn't. I mean I don't have a perfect body anymore, 3 kids is hard to bounce back from. Is my personality lacking so much it couldn't make up for my looks. I completely trusted him, like 100% and he's been seeing another girl. What do I do? I mean I can take care of myself and the kids. That's no issue. But how am I supposed to move forward. He was the love of my life, I thought he was the one, I thought he loved me. I literally have a ring on my finger and he just throws it away. For what? What does she have that I dont. A flat stomach, a pretty face, brush hair, and no dark circles. Is it because I'm tired, or too cranky? Why did I deserve this? Why couldn't he just keep his shit in his pants. Why wasn't I good enough!! Almost 5 years! What the fuck?! I'm broken, I feel like nothing. I feel worthless, and undesirable, I feel like he's a dick head. I feel like my world is crumbling, and if he doesn't want/couldn't be faithful to me who would or could? I feel alone

[BloodPrince 2.0]

My god, elf. Don't try to find anything wrong with yourself, because there fucking isn't. You are a beautiful woman, smart, and from what I've seen in the few days I've been around here, one of the sweetest people I've met. You are so gentle that I've calmed down from some of my worst rages just seeing your replies. If he doesn't see what he has he never deserved it to begin with.

You're not alone.

You'd better be listening because you need to know how much you really are.
This idiot does not define you. You are amazing. Please don't blame yourself. I swear I'll get on my knees and beg if that's what it takes. Let me and everyone else here hold your hands through this. Hey, we're your family too.

[Calvary]

I think that's a bit harsh considering she's just squeezed his kid out.

 

 

That absolutely fucking sucks, Elf. There's most likely no consolation anyone could give you in that situation, nor advice really. Maybe the only thing I could say to you is that the more you dwell on it the worse it will make you feel and as almost impossible as it is, you should try and put it out of your mind as much as you can until you either need to talk to him about it or come to a decision on whether your relationship is worth continuing.

[Elfie]

Thanks guys, I really just ignoring it right now. I'm kinda in shock. I don't know if I can continue with him, or if he wants to continue. I'm just taking care of the kids. My oldest got sent home for throwing up, so at least I have a distraction. Thank you for the kind words that were said. I love you guys.

[SushiKitten]

There's literally no point trying to find a rationalization. People get bored and she was new and exciting.

 

At least you weren't married yet.

Could you be any more inconsiderate? They were together for five years and had a child. It's not like it was some brief teen romance.

 

Elf, I'm so sorry to hear that. It's not your fault and don't ever think it was your fault. You're not the problem, it's him. If he was willing to have a child with you, he should have been fully aware of the responsibilities he now has as both a father and a partner to you. We all love you very much and I hope things get better.

[Mister Sympa]

Elf, I'm so sorry. I have zero expertise in this situation, but know that we love you and we're listening.

[Bowsette]

I think that's a bit harsh considering she's just squeezed his kid out.

 

 

That absolutely fucking sucks, Elf. There's most likely no consolation anyone could give you in that situation, nor advice really. Maybe the only thing I could say to you is that the more you dwell on it the worse it will make you feel and as almost impossible as it is, you should try and put it out of your mind as much as you can until you either need to talk to him about it or come to a decision on whether your relationship is worth continuing.

But... he's right. Trying to rationalize this sort of thing is a fast road to fucking your life up even more. I went through the same thing with Brandon. After the anger passed, I started trying to figure out why he did it. Each and every conclusion I came to had one key similarity. That I was the problem. It had to be me, I must have done something wrong, etc etc. You just wind up hating yourself and forcing yourself deeper and deeper into depression. Sure, Emo put it pretty bluntly, but you basically said the same thing. Put it out of your mind.

[Calvary]

It wasn't that bit, it was the "at least you weren't married" bit, as if that makes a difference other than marginally lengthening the process of going separate ways. Emotionally it means nothing.

[The Robstar]

Damn Elf. 

 

Don't ever think that this was your fault. Nothing is wrong with you. 

 

Males are selfish lovers, we follow our dicks and not our brains. We do fucked up shit and gamble everything until we lose the things that matter the most. No matter how many times we plead and repent, we aint guna change. 

 

 My father was a brute, he beat my mother and cheated on her many times. (even with 14 year old girls) grrrr

 

She kept on forgiving his sorry ass and giving him chances. 20 years worth of bullshit later she finally kicked his ass to the curb. he was a piece of shit. Now he sits alone in a dingy flat regretting the shit he did.

 

I can't tell you which path to walk but you may need a little break. Take the kids and go to your parents house for a while. Think shit over. 

 

There's literally no point trying to find a rationalization. People get bored and she was new and exciting.

 

At least you weren't married yet. 

 

Dude. You are usually quite an intelligent fella, but this has got to be one of the most insensitive, dickheadish things you have ever said. 

[Bowsette]

It wasn't that bit, it was the "at least you weren't married" bit, as if that makes a difference other than marginally lengthening the process of going separate ways. Emotionally it means nothing.

Technically being married would be better, since I assume divorces would be better for providing for the kids if the guy decides to be a cunt (like Olif's ex and the fact we're STILL trying to get him to pay child support)

[Calvary]

Technically being married would be better, since I assume divorces would be better for providing for the kids if the guy decides to be a cunt (like Olif's ex and the fact we're STILL trying to get him to pay child support)

 

(also @Emo)

 

I was talking from a more emotional stand point I think, I get what you're saying. I'm just sort of putting the point across then a person in a tender situation is probably going to rather want kindness and subtlety than to be handled with all the warmth of snow-bitten penguin.

 

Any way it's probably not a good thing to argue about really, given the circumstances. :/

[The Robstar]

>talks about thinking there's clearly something wrong with her if he cheated

>what did I do wrong

>feels terrible about it

 

 

>WOW YOU DICK SEND HER VIRTUAL HUGS INSTEAD OF TELLING HER TO NOT WORRY ABOUT HOW SHE IS AS A PERSON OR IS SOMEHOW FLAWED AND ITS HER FAULT

>GOD YOU INCONSIDERATE DICK

>UR MORALS M8

 

I'm just implying it would have made it 30x more complicated.

You just have to be careful with what you say.

 

Girls are fragile, sensitive, delicate beings. 

 

Like telling a little girl that their grandmother has passed away or something.

 

You pretty much did it this way…….

 

[Elfie]

I appreciate all of the support. Blunt is a bit more difficult to swallow, but I understand. He's home, we talked, I told him I needed time so he went to his mothers. He's not a bad father, so I'm not worried about him paying child support, or seeing his kids. I know he will if it comes to that. He's begged for fogiveness, I'm just not sure yet. But 5 years is so long, and this is the first offense. I'm drowning my sorrows in a hobbit marathon, with strawberry sunkist. I've been through worse, I just never expected this. He said it was all him, he was feeling low about himself, and the girl fed into his ego. He said no sex. I don't know if I believe him, part of me does, because I've never had a reason not to. But then I think well he now has. Either way, life will go on.

[Elfie]

[attachment=506:image.jpg]
A reason to smile

[BloodPrince 2.0]

Agreed. Awesome little person there.

[Silver_rose]

I appreciate all of the support. Blunt is a bit more difficult to swallow, but I understand. He's home, we talked, I told him I needed time so he went to his mothers. He's not a bad father, so I'm not worried about him paying child support, or seeing his kids. I know he will if it comes to that. He's begged for fogiveness, I'm just not sure yet. But 5 years is so long, and this is the first offense. I'm drowning my sorrows in a hobbit marathon, with strawberry sunkist. I've been through worse, I just never expected this. He said it was all him, he was feeling low about himself, and the girl fed into his ego. He said no sex. I don't know if I believe him, part of me does, because I've never had a reason not to. But then I think well he now has. Either way, life will go on.

 

I sympathise with your pain.
Maybe if you are willing to give him a second chance, it might be a good idea to get a intermediary, a counsellor to really get the root of why this happened so it doesn't happen again.
However, give yourself some time and decide first if you still want to be in a relationship with him after this.
Think about your needs and the kids needs first before his, that's all you need to do for now.