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I Feel Like Talking About Trans Stuff


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#1 Mister Sympa

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Posted 23 December 2013 - 07:48 PM

 I just feel like talking about transgender stuff.

So, I know four transgender people:

Person A, Person B, Person C and Person D.

Person A, when he came out as transgender, was frankly denied by his family, but within a few months, they learned to live with it, and he is actually accepted these days.

Person B came out as bisexual in high school with no problems, but then as transgender in college, and it was a massive issue for his family. It has taken seven years for things to settle into an okay place, and there are still pronoun hiccups.

Person C came out as transgender and was instantly kicked out of the house. He was seventeen. He then lived with his grandmother.

Person D came out as transgender, and was flatly denied by his family. He turned his back on them and never looked back.

Seems to me that these aren't good odds, and this is just FTMs (female-to-male). I shudder to think of the struggle that most MTFs face.

In France, I was referred to as male 2 out of 5 times by strangers, which was amazing and alarming given the fact that here in the US, I am referred to as male 0 out of 1000 times by strangers.

I don't really have a point; I'm just talking.

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#2 SushiKitten

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Posted 23 December 2013 - 07:59 PM

I had a FtM transgender in my high school. He never fully shifted into it until after highschool so I still have difficulties remembering to use his male name rather than his old one when I'm mentioning him. He started the lgbt club at the high school, which I spent a lot of time with, so we were good friends but I haven't really seen him since. From what I know, its a small town so people talked about it but the family was super supportive and that's what matters.

#3 Mister Sympa

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Posted 23 December 2013 - 08:10 PM

...He started the lgbt club at the high school...


A boy after my own heart. I wanted to start a GSA (gay-straight alliance), but I never had the courage. I wore rainbow shit all over the place with pride though.

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#4 Affray

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Posted 24 December 2013 - 12:58 AM

Yeah I imagine it would be no easy thing to deal with in general.

I assume that the percentage of trans-gendered people worldwide is not very high, so those that are would be a fairly unique minority.

Sadly most people don't like other people that are different.

It is a deep seeded genetic quirk that we all have, like it or not.

 

That being said, there are just as many supportive people out there as there are unsupportive.

As for the families that disown their children when stuff like this comes up, well they really musn't have been family to begin with.

Family is more than blood.


It is perfectly acceptable to fear and admire a being you could not possibly understand.


#5 Calvary

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Posted 24 December 2013 - 09:50 AM

I know a few gender fluid people and one who has just started taking hormones for her eventual MtF transformation (exciting!) My girlf is sort of gender fluid, like, I think she's happy either way. She dresses as a girl and wears girls clothes but sometimes she likes to make herself up to look like a guy (and adorable guy at that). She's never made a big deal about it but of course it doesn't bother me any way. It's part of who she is after all. ^ ^

 

Where I live just being gay causes a bit of a stir, so I can imagine being transgender would be a big thing, that being said it's not necessarily a malicious stir, just gossip talk.


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#6 DaRatmastah

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Posted 24 December 2013 - 10:39 AM

Dude, I just gotta say, as a completely for-gender/gay/whatever-rights person, the most annoying fucking thing about all this nonsense is the labels.

 

Like, I know I come off as intolerant sometimes just because I don't know the right labels/pronouns to use with people.  I'm like, "Dude/dudette/whatever, I totally support your right to dress however you want and fuck (or not fuck) whatever you want, but I will probably refer to you with the wrong term/name/pronoun sometimes so don't get pissy with me."

 

Like, I've heard trans, genderqueer, queer, gay/lesbian/bisexual(at least those are usually easy), asexual, androgynous, shemale, heshe, 'undeclared,' metro, beta, alpha, intersex, transsexual, and dear god so many names/labels.

 

As I see it, just do what y'all want, it's totally cool, just don't get aggravated if I use the wrong terms, because I don't personally care enough about labels to keep em all straight.



#7 seakingtheonixpected

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Posted 24 December 2013 - 01:36 PM

I think one of the biggest problems is that not a lot of people even understand what being transgender is. Which is why you hear so many horror stories like them getting disowned by their families or just in general being made fun of.

 

DaRatmastah demonstrates this perfectly. I'm sure he knows what being gay/lesbian/bi is but he flat out says that once it starts coming to trans issues he is in the dark. I mean he even throws out insulting terms like shemale and heshe, obviously not on purpose but it just shows how little most people actually learn about the trans community. :/



#8 Calvary

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Posted 24 December 2013 - 02:38 PM

I guess at the end of the day, it's down to the individual but I can totally understand that someone who feels closeted, threatened and alone would want to be addressed by the pronoun they've chosen for themselves. It gives them a small modicum of control over how other people perceive them and interact with them. I do make an effort to call any trans/ gender queer people I know by the pronoun they've asked me to out of common decency.

 

That being said, I'm pan-sexual but I don't mind being called bi or gay or whatever. The only thing I hate being called is straight because it's someone rejecting who I am, suggesting they know more about my sexuality than I do. The worst thing I was ever told was that my pansexuality was 'just a phase we all go through', it disgusted me not only because it came from my best friend but because it was a comment made in utter ignorance. I sort of ignored it at the time simply because this guy himself is bi but has been so ostracised by his family and friends that he's forced himself to suppress his sexuality to only pursue women. If he wants to do that then obviously it's his life and I'm not one to stand in his way but I feel sorry for him that he cannot accept a part of his own being.


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#9 DaRatmastah

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Posted 24 December 2013 - 02:56 PM

I think one of the biggest problems is that not a lot of people even understand what being transgender is. Which is why you hear so many horror stories like them getting disowned by their families or just in general being made fun of.

 

DaRatmastah demonstrates this perfectly. I'm sure he knows what being gay/lesbian/bi is but he flat out says that once it starts coming to trans issues he is in the dark. I mean he even throws out insulting terms like shemale and heshe, obviously not on purpose but it just shows how little most people actually learn about the trans community. :/

This.

 

The astounding thing is, I have a lot of friends and am very connected to the non-hetero community.  Grew up involved in theater, very liberal parents, blah blah blah.  But there's just SO MANY LABELS TO KEEP TRACK OF.

 

Like, Gol~, just said "pan-sexual."  No offense to you, Gol~, but I honestly have no idea what that means.  Or how it differs from bisexuality (which, just going off the root of pan- I would say is the closest comparison?).  Plus people are like, "Well, there's your sex, and then there's your gender, and then there's your sexual preferences, and then your gender preferences..."

 

Seriously though, why can't we just love who we want, fuck who we want, and not be concerned with names?  I'm human.  In general, I find myself attracted to humans.  I possess a penis, and I enjoy using it.  I respect your desire to do with your genitalia, hair, and clothing what you will, as long as you're not forcing yourself upon anyone else or children.  Why does anyone else in the world have a problem with that kind of thing?  X__X



#10 Calvary

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Posted 24 December 2013 - 03:02 PM

Hey I totally agree with you, labels are just that: labels. If it weren't for the incessant human need to categorise I'd just be 'Aidan'. No foot notes no asterisks not citations, just who I am. I just feel that some people who feel rejected because of who they are (I thank god haven't had this with my sexuality because I choose to tell very few people), well maybe they need that little pronoun just so they can feel part of some sort of group.

 

From what I can gather, bisexual is someone who likes men and women, pan-sexual is someone who'll fuck anything remotely human. I'm pretty open to who I can find attractive. A good thing I heard that pans refer to themselves as is 'gender-blind' in that attraction regularly transcends the boundaries of sex and gender. I'm not at that level of openness, but I can say I've probably found someone from every gender and sexuality attractive at some point.

 

As I said before; I can put my hand down anyone's pants and still be happy with what I find. >w>


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#11 DaRatmastah

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Posted 24 December 2013 - 03:11 PM

Yeah, I'd say that about fits me, then?  I dunno, I've only been with women before, wouldn't be opposed to men/other, though.



#12 seakingtheonixpected

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Posted 24 December 2013 - 03:17 PM

The difference is that pansexual includes transgender or any variety of gender, while bisexual usually just includes cis (men born male and women born female.)

 

It is actually not that complicated, just can be hard to learn at first.

 

Honestly mostly what you NEED to know is that if they are a transwoman use female pronouns and if they are a transman use male pronouns. The rest is just to help people interested in a relationship understand where the other person stands.



#13 Calvary

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Posted 24 December 2013 - 03:34 PM

Yeah, I'd say that about fits me, then?  I dunno, I've only been with women before, wouldn't be opposed to men/other, though.

 

Same, I've flirted with guys and shit, but pussied out before the magic could've happened. =(


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#14 DaRatmastah

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Posted 24 December 2013 - 03:42 PM

The difference is that pansexual includes transgender or any variety of gender, while bisexual usually just includes cis (men born male and women born female.)

 

It is actually not that complicated, just can be hard to learn at first.

 

Honestly mostly what you NEED to know is that if they are a transwoman use female pronouns and if they are a transman use male pronouns. The rest is just to help people interested in a relationship understand where the other person stands.

Yeah, I'll try.  It's difficult, though.  Like, we had a person at my house who, basically, looked and dressed like a guy(maybe a gay guy), but a guy.  Pants, men's shirt, men's jacket, short hair, blah blah.  BUUUUT that person then got very offended when I referred to them as a him.  And I was like, What?  She(?) then said, "Don't you know, I'm trans?!"  And I was like...uh...sorry.  Maybe don't dress/talk/act like a dude who also forgot to shave...or at least don't get offended when I call you a he?

 

>_>



#15 seakingtheonixpected

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Posted 24 December 2013 - 05:10 PM

Well you don't have to worry to much about the first time, everyone can make mistakes, but if they correct you probably best to just do what they say, know what I mean?



#16 DaRatmastah

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Posted 24 December 2013 - 09:25 PM

Oh yeah, once I know their preferred term/moniker it's all good, but up until that point... >_>



#17 SushiKitten

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Posted 25 December 2013 - 03:18 PM

There are limits to it for me, pronouns like xe/xir are ridiculous and demerit from the actual cause of transgendered. Sexuality can get complicated, especially on tumblr. I totally get where DaRatmastah is coming from, there is a lot of labels, and for someone who doesn't have an active interest in it, no wonder they can get lost.

#18 Bowsette

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Posted 25 December 2013 - 06:09 PM

The funny thing about xe/xer is that it's pronounced the same way x is usually pronounced in Chinese. That is to say, a sh/ch sound. So basically xe = she

 

I get sick of labels for the most part. I mostly identify myself as bi now because I'm too lazy to explain to people what pansexuality is and I really couldn't give a fuck about all the new-age terms that only started existing a few years ago because some people get their panties in a knot over "No I'm not that type of gay! You're intolerant!"


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#19 seakingtheonixpected

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Posted 25 December 2013 - 06:28 PM

Does anyone actually get mad like that? or are we just knocking over strawmen.



#20 Bowsette

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Posted 25 December 2013 - 06:30 PM

I have encountered it before. As internet denizens, we've all met people who get pissed over retarded things like names, or Call of Duty


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