16 replies to this topic

[The Robstar]

Today I bumped into a girl I use to go to school with....

 

Back in the day she used to be VERY attractive, she was part of the popular group. However she wasn't very nice to me, in fact she used to pick on me because I used to be very weird and quiet. She used to call me "Rat-Boy." Lucky for me puberty occurred after I left High School. lol

 

I haven't seen her in about 8 years or so, and went to buy some fish n chips today only to discover that she worked at this particular shop..... I must admit she hasn't aged well. In fact she looks close to 40 now. I learnt that she's a solo mother of two. 

 

She was very nice today and could not believe how much I've changed..... She said we should "catch up" over a beer sometimes....

 

I'm not one to hold grudges or anything, but GOD I really HATED her back in high school and found it kind of weird that she would want to socialize with me.... I know both of us have changed but the wounds may have healed for me but the scars still remain....

 

Have you guys ever been in a similar position? Am I being a douche for not wanting anything to do with her?

 

SHARE WITH ME BROTHERS AND SISTERS!!!!!

[Calvary]

It's high school, grow a pair and don't judge her. I've been in exactly the same position and I didn't hold a grudge.

[The Robstar]

It's high school, grow a pair and don't judge her. I've been in exactly the same position and I didn't hold a grudge.

Yeah you're right, I think I'm going to have to be a bit more mature about it.

 

Kids can be so mean though....

[Calvary]

If I held a piddling grudge against everyone who ever wronged me I'd have no friends. Welcome to the real world, mate.

[The Robstar]

If I held a piddling grudge against everyone who ever wronged me I'd have no friends. Welcome to the real world, mate.

Yeah I guess she doesn't know how much of a clown she was.

 

I'm actually curious to know why she was such a dick to me.

[LittleLioness]

A beer won't hurt I guess... Keep an open mind, forgive, just don't forget (too easily).

[Calvary]

Yeah I guess she doesn't know how much of a clown she was.

 

I'm actually curious to know why she was such a dick to me.

 

It's high school. You were children.

[Diabolical_Jazz]

I'm not 100% with what Gol said.

I mean, yes, you should forgive her. Talking to her could bring closure to that whole thing.

However, I don't think that we should be too quick to excuse a bully's behavior as 'normal for people of that age.'
And I do not think it is weak or immature of you to be a little gun-shy about this.

I've seen bullying destroy people's lives. Like, actually. I knew a kid who got picked on because his parents were poor, and he never caught a single break, all the way through elementary school and middle school. Kids were fuckin' ruthless to him. I was one of his only friends, until I moved away. Last I heard, he wasn't doin' too well.
There are people I knew from school who I won't forgive. Even though it's been almost two decades. Less for what they did to me, and more for what they did to other people.

That said, you should be brave and go talk to her. It's possible she's sorry. Even if she doesn't understand what she did, she is the one in the position of weakness now, and the thing that makes us different from them is that we are kind to people who are in a position of weakness. So, you should be kind. Do it for yourself.

[Calvary]

Hey I'm not saying bullying isn't wrong or anything. I am a realist however, I know it happens and I know people change. If that's the case, time to move on. That's all I'm saying.

[MrSandman]

the ones who are cool in High school often fails when they grow old. Matt Stone said something good about that in an interview ones.

[Krankykoala]

My favorite is "Absolutely everyone you ever come to know WILL hurt you. The trick is finding out who is worth suffering over."

 

Also meh, what can having a beer hurt?

[Diabolical_Jazz]

Hey I'm not saying bullying isn't wrong or anything. I am a realist however, I know it happens and I know people change. If that's the case, time to move on. That's all I'm saying.

Sure, but 'moving on' could mean different things depending on the severity of the bullying.
Some people you really just want to avoid, rather than giving them an opportunity to be in your life again.

It doesn't sound like this is that kind of situation, of course.

[Calvary]

That's what I mean, Robstar doesn't really sound traumatised, but if that was the case and he was terrified of this girl then I could understand a continued resentment.

[twa]

Every now and then I stumble across my bully. We're always in a car tho, so it's just for a split second. But, every time I see him, my heart stops and I can't help but feel scared of him. The things he did to me are things that scarred me forever (screams, death threads, physical harassment, you name it) but at the same time made me who I am today. I can't say I forgave him, but I don't have a grudge either. It's like a "Don't mess with me, and I won't mess with you." kind of a situation. There have been times where we've met each other's eyes on the road, because we both live in the same town, but I can tell he either had no interest in me anymore, or simply forgot about me. I've change a lot, both mentally and physically since then, so maybe it's just that he doesn't recognize me. But either way, it's not something I stress about, the whole meeting someone from the past.  He's the worst thing that's ever happened to me, and also the best. If he ever came to me personally, and asked for forgiveness, I'd very well forgive him. We all deserve a second chance, and people do indeed change. Who am I to judge someone for their pasts actions? 

[The Robstar]

That's what I mean, Robstar doesn't really sound traumatised, but if that was the case and he was terrified of this girl then I could understand a continued resentment.

Her bullying hasn't had a lasting effect on me, but I always wanted to extract some form of vengeance upon her. 

 

But just looking at her I kinda felt sorry for her.... I can tell life has been very hard on her these past few years. And I'm in a good place in my life atm. I don't feel the need to do anything to her.

 

It's funny, I'd never though I'd be sympathetic towards her...... Just goes to show life works in mysterious ways.

 

And yes, I wouldn't mind some form of closure, would be interesting to see what happened to her. 

[SushiKitten]

I think life has exacted enough revenge on her. It's true for some when people say that high school is the best time of your life. I know for a couple of my classmates, it has gone downhill since. 

 

High school is high school, though. The fact that she has grown nice now means she probably has grown up a lot. On that note though, you don't have to have anything to do with her. Two of my classmates in high school are here in university with me, in the same faculty even, and we barely speak a word to each other. If you do go to catch up with her, I think the mature thing to do would be to go with an open mind and try not to judge her based on the past.