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If you were going into a dragon's lair...


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#1 Diabolical_Jazz

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 11:51 AM

What equipment would you bring with you? What preparations would you make?

Assume that it is modern times, in the real world. The only difference is that there is a large cavern that only you seem to know about, containing a dragon and a treasure. You don't know how much treasure. You don't know anything for certain about the dragon. It may or may not be intelligent, it may or may not breathe fire.
You do not possess a map of the cavern, but it's large and labyrinthine. You do not know what other sorts of creatures might be down there.
You have as much time for preparation as you would care to take. It is unlikely that anyone is going to beat you to the treasure. Your budget is your real-life budget.
I don't think he needs to be immortal. I think all he needs to do is to write the right story. Because some stories do live forever.

#2 Jaz

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 11:57 AM

Your budget is your real-life budget.


I'm fucked then.

I guess I'll take my inhuman charisma and dashing good looks.

Maybe I can woo him.

#3 Diabolical_Jazz

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 12:09 PM

Don't lie, that was going to be your plan regardless. =P
I don't think he needs to be immortal. I think all he needs to do is to write the right story. Because some stories do live forever.

#4 Jaz

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 12:10 PM

Don't lie, that was going to be your plan regardless. =P


>////> guilty

but I would have had a gun, for safety purposes

#5 Diabolical_Jazz

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 12:15 PM

Naturally. You've gotta practice safe sex.
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#6 Jaz

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 12:21 PM

Naturally. You've gotta practice safe sex.


:lol:


I'm such a perv ._.

#7 Diabolical_Jazz

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 12:28 PM

I wouldn't say you're a perv.
More of a gold-digger. Does that dragon know you're just using it for its money? D=
I don't think he needs to be immortal. I think all he needs to do is to write the right story. Because some stories do live forever.

#8 Jaz

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 12:36 PM

The pile of gold has nothing to do with it

I love D'kthar'tka for its personality! We connect on an emotional and spiritual level!

Plus, yknow, I'm terrified to leave because it can char me in seconds.

#9 Dasherman

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 12:55 PM

I'd take a gun and dragonbane bullets with me.
And I'd get myself one of those nice black belts from one of those exotic martial arts. That'll scare that scaleskin!
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#10 Affray

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 08:39 PM

I already have most of what I would need.
My standard survival backpack which has some food, water, rope, sleeping bag, knife, first aid kit, flashlight, survival tin (which is full of random survival things like a needle, thread, bandages, water purification tablets, etc.), my bota bag full of water, and a few other various things that help keep me alive that I can't think of right now.

On top of that I would bring my machete, and my knife-axe (no joke, I have this exact knife-axe).

Posted Image

I would also bring copious amounts of twine to map this labrynthian cave that I need to traverse and not get lost in.
Because there ain't no school like the old school.

Other than that all I would need is to bring all of the balls I possess, which is a fair amount, and maybe my dog Duke, who is a hero and looks like this:

Posted Image

To put his size in perspective, his back is at my waist level.
That should help with some slaying of unknown beasts on my way to the soon to be murdered dragon.

It is perfectly acceptable to fear and admire a being you could not possibly understand.


#11 tlh1123

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 08:55 PM

What your about to read is from a dragon slaying pro. Do not attempt this.
Difficulty: Extremely unlikely.

First I'd probably try to find a loyal steed (a cow).

After my steed got involved in a terrible accident with the dragon I'd sneak around the back, climb up its back, and repeatedly poke it with a stick. Yeah, I'd probably die but that dragon would be forever haunted. All he'd hear in his dreams is "poke... poke... poke".

It'd eventually develop schizophrenia and start seeing sticks all over the place. It'd get trapped in a corner, have a heart attack, and most likely die. Then you'd be a legend.

Horray! You've slain your first dragon! :D
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#12 No-Danico

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 10:09 PM

Some tar and pitch stuffed into a cow or straw princess will work just fine. Come on, guys, stories have been written explaining how to outwit dragons.

If nothing else, just get a gun and aim for the belly. Odin says that’s where they’re vulnerable.

If they're intelligent, get them drunk. They’d probably have a sword somewhere in their tail.

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#13 DaRatmastah

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Posted 20 January 2013 - 10:10 PM

How would said dragon react to bullets? Assuming the sucker isn't bulletproof, I'd go blow most of the spare cash I have on a high-quality semi-automatic assault rifle and some serious ammo for it. My loadout would probably be as such:

Headlamp
Backpack
Rifle + ammunition
4 Cliff Builder Bars
Two canteens of water.
Hand spotlight
Heavy boots
Bike helmet(lightweight and leaves senses uninhibited. looking to protect against rocks and cave ceilings, not dragon attacks)
Hunting knife
Chalk(to mark passages when I take them)
Climbing rope
Kneepads, elbow pads, forearm and shinguards(again, protection from environment, not dragon)
Work gloves(if I had money left over after the rifle I'd grab some kevlar hatch gloves)
Lighter
Heat-resistant survival blanket

If I have a little more money/time:
Make some smoke bombs
Buy some firework mortars/sparklers/wolftails
FLIR image camera(early detection/pathfinding, assuming the dragon likes and/or gives off heat)

#14 Diabolical_Jazz

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 07:07 AM

It is unknown, how a dragon might be effected by bullets. He might shrug them off like insect bites,
And they might tear right through him. Total unknown.

The chalk idea is one I hadn't thought of yet. Brilliant!

And what's an FLIR image camera? I may have to look that up.
I don't think he needs to be immortal. I think all he needs to do is to write the right story. Because some stories do live forever.

#15 Diabolical_Jazz

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 07:14 AM

Also, that knife-axe looks awesome. 0__0
I don't think he needs to be immortal. I think all he needs to do is to write the right story. Because some stories do live forever.

#16 DaRatmastah

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 07:20 AM

FLIR is those thermal imaging cameras, where everything the camera captures is on a color spectrum(hot stuff is orange/red/white, cool stuff is blue/green/black).

I prepped my gear also assuming I'd spend more time trekking through the cave than I would fighting the dragon, so I packed combat essentials. If I was focusing more on the dragonslaying layout I think I would go a bit differently.

#17 Galactus

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 07:42 AM

Using my real life budget royally screws me.

Getting to the dragon would be the hardest part. I suppose I will just follow the trail of dragon crap wafting in my direction. A couple flashlights and some boating rope.

I would bring my Nagant, that thing can kill anything alive.

If that failed I would pull out a hatchet and just start whacking on its junk.

I do that on a $0 budget.

#18 Diabolical_Jazz

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 09:21 AM

FLIR is those thermal imaging cameras, where everything the camera captures is on a color spectrum(hot stuff is orange/red/white, cool stuff is blue/green/black).

I prepped my gear also assuming I'd spend more time trekking through the cave than I would fighting the dragon, so I packed combat essentials. If I was focusing more on the dragonslaying layout I think I would go a bit differently.


I'm going to have to research those. 0__0 I was just getting into the section on lighting equipment, so this is good timing.

Naturally all ideas are welcome, even the just-kidding ones, but I'm focusing mostly on the non-dragon-slaying end of things as well. I don't like the idea of trying to kill the dragon, from a practical standpoint, and it doesn't suit my themes well. That said, I've heard some pretty freakin' good ideas for dragonslaying, here and on my facebook post.

Using my real life budget royally screws me.

Getting to the dragon would be the hardest part. I suppose I will just follow the trail of dragon crap wafting in my direction. A couple flashlights and some boating rope.

I would bring my Nagant, that thing can kill anything alive.

If that failed I would pull out a hatchet and just start whacking on its junk.

I do that on a $0 budget.


What's a Nagant? 0_o
Heh, yeah, the real-life-budget thing is a major hurdle. That's what I like about it. It encourages creative dungeoneering.
I don't think he needs to be immortal. I think all he needs to do is to write the right story. Because some stories do live forever.

#19 SushiKitten

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Posted 21 January 2013 - 10:54 AM

I'd bring a peace offering, pizza. Who doesn't like pizza?

More than anything, I don't really have the money or skills to defeat a dragon in battle. I'd just talk it out. See where that leads.

#20 veryangryfairy

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Posted 29 January 2013 - 08:54 AM

Psssh.
I would wear a gas mask and bring large amounts of some extremely toxic gas (if only I could capture my stepdad's farts in containers). I would also bring an epic sword to spill its guts, just to be sure if it's only knocked out.

Or maybe instead I would attempt to tame it. That would be pretty neat. For that I would bring lots of doggy biscuits. Or goats. I think dragons like goats.