THE ROB$TAR'S GUIDE TO GETTING A GIRLFRIEND
#1
Posted 15 December 2012 - 07:14 PM
WELL THEN NERDS AND DORKS YOU HAVE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE!!!!
There's a high probability that some of the dudes/dudettes on this site have trouble capturing their desired Pokegirl, or simply never been alone with a girl before... therefore I've come up with this detailed guide to help you get that that significant other
I'm going to use some pretty dorky references so that you can understand where I'm coming from
This idea was actually going to be a song but it's kinda hard to cram all this info into 64 bars :S
Anyways here we go....
1) Get off the computer and go for a walk, you ain't guna meet your dream girl online unless you purchase her on thaibrides.com. Get out there and try talk to at least 10 random girls EVEN if it's a hello or a smile (Your mother/sister/granny doesn't count either)
2) Dress to impress, look at yourself in the mirror, think about this, "Would you kiss yourself??? Seriously???" She ain't guna wanna go out or be seen with a scruff, would you date her if she looked like a homeless STD ridden rat??? Take a page from JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, now that guy is slick as fuck. Get a haircut, buy new clothes or get a perm FELL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF!!!!
3) CONFIDENCE!!!! GIRLS LOVE CONFIDENCE!!!! It's true, chicks dig a guy who is confident in himself. If you seem like a push over, then the girl will see weakness and not bother with you.... If you wanna study confidence go search up THE ROCK'S promos on Youtube...
4) Feel good about yourself!!!! She aint wana be around an emo or a downer, try to be positive, because positive attracts!!! Just like flies to a shit, try to be a shit A positive shit that is Smile, be a fun guy/girl to be around...
5) Don't set your sights on one girl, GO AFTER MULTIPLE GIRLS!!!! Just like POKEMON, you don't wanna level up one particular pokemon, you wana have a good selection to fall back on, if one fails, then move on to the next... simple... If one girl shows no interest then move on, don't waste your time, you will know if she's not interested!!! She will reject your advances... Don't be butthurt by rejection, because of the 10 girls you ask, 9 will say "no", and at least 1 will say "ok!!!"
6) Showcase a unique skill you have!!! Since most of you are nerdcore musicians why not "woo" her with one of your best songs??? I got my girlfriend after I performed my Street Fighter 4 rap, she was so surprised because she didn't even know I rapped Oh and showing her your impressive WoW character level 54 battle OX isn't guna get you anything!!! But remember, what might "wow" one girl might make another roll her eyes.... everybody is different...
7) Learn to dance!!! Ok I must admit that half the girls I hooked up with we're at the nightclubs simply because I dressed and danced likeMICHAEL JACKSON and maybe I was drunk and so we're they, but hey, at least I got some poon lol. Alcohol (For those of you who are old enough) is good for confidence, but don't get 2 drunk becoz you become a slob, have enough to get tipsy, but not enough 2 lose control
8) Be patient, Things take time, much like doing a song, you aint guna rush release it after 1 take, personally I listen to it over and over again, just take your time with girls, they're weird delicate creatures LOL Don't be a horny crazed weirdo because It'll seem like you just wana tap and gap.... Take the time to get to know her... You might learn something interesting... Don't fall into the friend zone, make it clear what you are after... HER!!!!
9) Be persistent, never give up, keep trying if you fail, much like dying on a game, you just "CONTINUE." The laws of attraction in the mind is a powerful tool, if you really want something badly, you will get it... You just have to put your mind to it... However if she's clearly not interested in you or using you for her own benefits, THEN MOVE ON!!!!! Don't waste your time. Most dudes fall into the FRIENDZONE!!!! That means that you took too long and she got to know you too, now she sees you as a brother as opposed to a potential partner... I have enough lady friends as is, time to make like a tree and LEAVE!!!! Go find another potential girl....
10) Initiate!!! Most of the steps above worked for me but I don't guarantee they will work for you but just give it a try, what do you have to lose??? Your dignity??? I'm sure you lost that when you started reading this thread OOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Anyways I'm out, and I don't care if you people read this thread, reply to it, hate it, or love it coz I had fun writing it and it worked for me hehehehe
I DON'T GUARANTEE THIS THREAD WILL WORK FOR ALL OF YOU BUT IT WILL CERTAINLY STEER YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION!!!!
NOTE: THIS MIGHT OFFEND SOME GIRLS, IF IT DOES THEN I AM SORRY!!! I THINK GIRLS ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THINGS ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET!!!!
GOOD LUCK!!!!
Peace bitchez!!!!
THE ROB$TAR
THE HELL YOU READING FOOL???
#2
Posted 15 December 2012 - 07:16 PM
“Shimatta! Bare… nan no koto kashira?”
#3
Posted 15 December 2012 - 07:18 PM
what do you have to lose??? Your dignity???
If they're following this advice then it's probably more like their virginity... Haha
#4
Posted 15 December 2012 - 07:33 PM
#5 makes you look like a cunt, btw.
You could be right however this really isn't advice on how to establish yourself a long lasting loving relationship, this is more for your "first girlfriend" type of thing. (And yes I am a condescending prick)
If they're following this advice then it's probably more like their virginity... Haha
Indeed it is my friend, I would have killed for this information back in 2007
THE HELL YOU READING FOOL???
#5
Posted 15 December 2012 - 07:49 PM
You could be right however this really isn't advice on how to establish yourself a long lasting loving relationship, this is more for your "first girlfriend" type of thing. (And yes I am a condescending prick)
Indeed it is my friend, I would have killed for this information back in 2007
Lol...
#6
Posted 15 December 2012 - 08:42 PM
I read a study that states, currently 2 out of 10 couples met online. I do not believe acting like a douchebag or dressing like one, will attract any type of woman I would find interesting. You sound like a man who objectifies women and is only interested in sex. If that was what you wanted your guide to be, then it should have only contained one step.
1: Find hooker.
If I wanted to learn how to be a tool, I would just watch more Dane Cook standup.
#7
Posted 15 December 2012 - 09:05 PM
I think most of this advice is pretty terrible. >.>
I read a study that states, currently 2 out of 10 couples met online. I do not believe acting like a douchebag or dressing like one, will attract any type of woman I would find interesting. You sound like a man who objectifies women and is only interested in sex. If that was what you wanted your guide to be, then it should have only contained one step.
1: Find hooker.
If I wanted to learn how to be a tool, I would just watch more Dane Cook standup.
Thank you for your insightful analysis.
THE ROB$TAR is an alter ego of mine modeled off Barney Stinson
So yes everything you said in your post is true,
I know some of you won't agree with what I say but it is what it is, and it has proven to work!!!
You can either choose to follow it or not....
Thank you for your time
THE HELL YOU READING FOOL???
#8
Posted 15 December 2012 - 09:16 PM
#9
Posted 15 December 2012 - 09:26 PM
A womanizer may be entertaining to watch on TV, but modeling your life and your social character on one, is probably a poor choice. Nobody likes a womanizer. The world doesn't need more tools. But, to each their own. Enjoy your persona.
Thank you Galactus, if all else fails then you may consume me and my world
THE HELL YOU READING FOOL???
#10
Posted 15 December 2012 - 09:44 PM
#11
Posted 15 December 2012 - 10:30 PM
The women of Earth would probably be better off if I did.
You do know that The Silver Surfer is a womanizer
THE HELL YOU READING FOOL???
#12
Posted 15 December 2012 - 11:40 PM
Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated.
#13
Posted 15 December 2012 - 11:46 PM
Most of your advice makes you look like a creep or stalker to anyone but the most oblivious girls.
Hehehe I know, I'm just having fun
THE HELL YOU READING FOOL???
#14
Posted 16 December 2012 - 04:27 AM
Ask for my discord/Insta/Tumblr if you want.
#15
Posted 16 December 2012 - 07:46 AM
#16
Posted 16 December 2012 - 01:12 PM
By throwing out references to things like Pokemon, Street Fighter, and WoW, you think that people will find your advice easier to digest. I think it is just absolutely 100% dumb. I am actually a bit offended.
#17
Posted 16 December 2012 - 01:43 PM
...
..
.
#18
Posted 16 December 2012 - 02:37 PM
Sick of being lonely? Do you spend more time on the computer rather than interacting with people? Sick and tired of jerking off?
No, yes, and no.
Well, it seems we have everything worked out, then.
#19
Posted 16 December 2012 - 03:14 PM
I consider myself to have a pretty good sense of humor. However, I find this thread to be very distasteful. I am having a hard time finding the humor in your "jokes". I am also having a hard time believing that this was all for the lulz. People who act like you, are among the types of people I dislike most.
By throwing out references to things like Pokemon, Street Fighter, and WoW, you think that people will find your advice easier to digest. I think it is just absolutely 100% dumb. I am actually a bit offended.
After rereading this, I believe you may be right..
I'm not a big fan of throwing around nerd terms and saying it's "for the nerds" (something The Big Bang Theory is guilty of), but mostly I was a little more offended at the advice.
In the end though, I feel like it was made for the freshmen frat boys who only care about the drunk-off-their-ass-24/7 girls that frequent the club rather than an actual real girlfriend, then I don't really care.
But if guys want a respectable, responsible girlfriend, that is not the way to go about it.
#20
Posted 16 December 2012 - 03:38 PM
After rereading this, I believe you may be right..
But if guys want a respectable, responsible girlfriend, that is not the way to go about it.
Agreed.
Also tagged with one or more of these keywords: girlfriend, help wanted, feedback, the rob$tar
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