Saw a post on reddit about a cook book that utilizes ejaculate.

AAAAND I'm done with the internet today.

Sometimes I think I'm weird...

And then there's the internet.

Though seriously, why? Why is this needed?

I know what to get you for Christmas.

I'll be sure to send some of my award winning* ingredient as well. I tried to sell it to McCormick but they didn't have any interest.

So I went looking for this book
 

'cause I'm sick like that

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cookbook!

Couldn't help but laugh.

Edit: LOL the same guy wrote a bartender book

This is the ultimate handbook for mixologists looking for ingredients that go beyond exotic fruit juices and rare spirits. Driven by a commitment and passion for the freshly harvested ingredient, Semenology pushes the limits of classic bartending. Semen is often freshly available behind most bar counters and adds a personal touch to any cocktail. The connoisseur will appreciate learning how to mix selected spirits to enhance the delicate flavors of semen. The book provides useful tips that cover every detail of Semenology, from mixing and presentation to harvesting and storage advice.

THE COMMENT AND THE SIMPSONS YOUTUBE CLIP MADE MY NEAR ENOUGH PISS MY PANTS!!! 

Exactly how i felt when i saw the post..

I think that there are so many wonderful things on the internet and so much to learn from it.

HOWEVER...

When i reach that part of the internet (you know the bit, the parts normally owned by recluses who live in basements and eat rats for most meals, or the sites that throw about 20 pop-ups my way) i know i'm about done.

Recipes which include man milk are way up there on my fuck-this-shit-o-meter so good luck to you my friend and let us all know how it tastes.

P.S. If my GF is anything to go off of, ingesting ejaculate will only serve to make you angry at the male species, make you moan about the dishes whilst hinting at marriage... YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

PEACE AND LOVE x

So I went looking for this book
 
'cause I'm sick like thatSemen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cookbook!
 
Couldn't help but laugh.
 
Edit: LOL the same guy wrote a bartender bookThis is the ultimate handbook for mixologists looking for ingredients that go beyond exotic fruit juices and rare spirits. Driven by a commitment and passion for the freshly harvested ingredient, Semenology pushes the limits of classic bartending. Semen is often freshly available behind most bar counters and adds a personal touch to any cocktail. The connoisseur will appreciate learning how to mix selected spirits to enhance the delicate flavors of semen. The book provides useful tips that cover every detail of Semenology, from mixing and presentation to harvesting and storage advice.

I don't, I just....but.....whyyyyyy?

I don't, I just....but.....whyyyyyy?

because #semenology

Semen is a good source of protein. 

Sometimes I think I'm weird...

 

And then there's the internet.

 

Though seriously, why? Why is this needed?

Because freaky people.

This definitely falls into the category of "Things I could happily live without knowing. Ever."

:|

Amen, sister.

I know what to get you for Christmas.

I'll be sure to send some of my award winning* ingredient as well. I tried to sell it to McCormick but they didn't have any interest.

Gosh, I wonder if your gal knows just how lucky she is.

So I went looking for this book
 

'cause I'm sick like that

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cookbook!

 

Couldn't help but laugh.

 

Edit: LOL the same guy wrote a bartender book

This is the ultimate handbook for mixologists looking for ingredients that go beyond exotic fruit juices and rare spirits. Driven by a commitment and passion for the freshly harvested ingredient, Semenology pushes the limits of classic bartending. Semen is often freshly available behind most bar counters and adds a personal touch to any cocktail. The connoisseur will appreciate learning how to mix selected spirits to enhance the delicate flavors of semen. The book provides useful tips that cover every detail of Semenology, from mixing and presentation to harvesting and storage advice.

D: No me gusta

THE COMMENT AND THE SIMPSONS YOUTUBE CLIP MADE MY NEAR ENOUGH PISS MY PANTS!!! 

 

Exactly how i felt when i saw the post..

 

I think that there are so many wonderful things on the internet and so much to learn from it.

 

HOWEVER...

 

When i reach that part of the internet (you know the bit, the parts normally owned by recluses who live in basements and eat rats for most meals, or the sites that throw about 20 pop-ups my way) i know i'm about done.

 

Recipes which include man milk are way up there on my fuck-this-shit-o-meter so good luck to you my friend and let us all know how it tastes.

 

P.S. If my GF is anything to go off of, ingesting ejaculate will only serve to make you angry at the male species, make you moan about the dishes whilst hinting at marriage... YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

 

PEACE AND LOVE x

I love that part of the episode.
In 24 years there's very few Simpsons moments I can recall vividly, this is one of them. 
And every time I'm in trouble irl, it goes through my mind. >__>

This all sounds like a perfectly wonderful way to spread aids and other infectious diseases.
I'm guessing that turd has never heard of health codes.

WHO NEEDS HEALTH CODES WHEN YOU HAVE A JIZZM OMELETTE? 

I don't, I just....but.....whyyyyyy?

See above response.

because #semenology

D:
Is that a thing?
For serials?

Semen is a good source of protein. 

So is steak.

I think I'll stick to steak..

^ Largest quoted post yet.

Hah, now I get to call fapping "gathering fresh ingredients".

"Making the lizard cry" and "Getting close to Palmela Handerson" were starting to get a little stale.

Hah, now I get to call fapping "gathering fresh ingredients".

 

"Making the lizard cry" and "Getting close to Palmela Handerson" were starting to get a little stale.

handy dandy.

handyman.

Good old round of fistycuffs

rock paper jizzers