To arms my friends, to arms!

Arm yourselves, Prepare for battle.

it's time for war.

"War against whom" you ask?

these little bastards.

Just look at him, you know that little bastard is plotting against us. 

This morning, I woke up and there was none in the house. 

at lunch, I went up from the office to make food, and killed 16 of them, and there where still more.

they are expanding their forces at an alarming rate. We heed to head them off before it's too late!

They have sent out scouting parties, and very soon we will have a full scale invasion on our hands. 

General Equipment roster:

Know your tools, know your techniques, and survive. 

My dedicated research team has also developed some extremely handy technology for use against this dark airborne menace.

our first; Fly "paper"

The second, we call this the funnel. 

Our researchers have also uncovered a small number of plants you can bring in that may be able to assist us in our fight for survival. 

"Dionaea muscipula"  is but one of of a few we have recently discovered. 

You're doing it all wrong.

http://www.airsplat....AS-M4-UM241.htm

Forget the zombie apocalypse and the alien invasion, prepare for the fly infestation. 

Lel, I merd a raim. 

Oh my friend, my friend. Only a few times have I viewed a post that so dramatically forced itself in to my heart. There are not many creatures that have such a profound effect upon myself. 

Okay, granted if a 30ft snake or a scorpion were to take up residence within my domicile I may find my adrenal glands firing on all pistons whilst I found an adequate safety zone far from said nasties... However, the fact of the matter is that unless you live in the amazon or most places in the african continent, snakes, scorpions etc don't tend to come knocking (and if they do it most probably will be the one, or two if you're truly unlucky), unlike flies...

Flies will swarm upon your household like it's a full blown festival of pestilence. It always starts off with one, battering itself against a window or buzzing around in front of the TV while you're watching reruns of (insert your favourite show) and before you know it, its friends have joined in.

You Rambo up and attempt to disintegrate them one by one, which is by no means a small feat as not only do they have eyes that see ALL, they also seem to have premonitions of every action you take up to, and including, your future vulnerable points, when you will be preparing food and quite probably when and how you are going to die.

Now flies are a wonderful work of nature. They have a huge part in the breaking down of deceased animals and other rotting matter and thus aid the great cycle of life, energy and the food chain.

I pose that none of the above works of wonder are happening in my domicile nor do I require the aid of these winged bitch whores from hell. If i have a rotting body here I will of course dispose of it to an appropriate place where the flies may feast until their little tum tums are fit to burst. If i have spoiled food I will lay it on an alter for them far from my kitchen as a sacrifice to the gods of pestilence and death.

If I lived in the wild and happened upon a grazing pack of wolves who have downed and are feasting on a fresh kill, I certainly wouldn't attempt to invite myself for dinner even in my hungriest hour. Flies, however, have RSVP'd in advance and couldn't give a flying fig if they are unwanted or not.

Any creature that is happy and bold enough to waltz right up to a freaking lion and compete for it's food and WIN is surely in league with satan and must die.

I personally have tried the Rambo attempt and bandana or not have failed on most occasions.

I have tried bug spray and, however successful against flies, i have found that it also creates as an uninhabitable environment as mars, not to mention A) the corpses of downed flies (eww), and the ones unaffected elsewhere will wait for the dust to settle and march right on in.

Short of living inside a clinical clean room or growing super mario style carnivorous plants in the hundreds, I can find no end to the plague that finds me every summer, warm spring/autumn evening or even during winter when I open a window to let in fresh air (YES, apparently they sometimes nest in window frames or attics!)

It's summer and hotter than hot here which is just like home for these hell spawned demons. What am I to do short of buying a flamethrower and set up a fallout style vault to hole up in until somebody invents sentry-bots with anti fly missiles?

When all is over and done with and we have removed with scourge... I feel we should also deal with the moth problem as most of my clothes are basically one great big hole and they're ruining netflix for me!

Rant over, PEACE OUT

I have never seen a more detailed post dedicated to flies in the entirety of my existence. 

I have never seen a more detailed post dedicated to flies in the entirety of my existence. 

And yet I am still currently being feasted upon (YES, as I type this some form of fly is trying to eat me).

Flying insects of all form and type are still bugging us (pun fully intended)

we MUST post more until we can post them to death!

SO SAY WE ALL!

However, the fact of the matter is that unless you live in the amazon or most places in the african continent, snakes, scorpions etc don't tend to come knocking

Australia

'nuff said

I am not too far from IDK, so it is only a matter of time before the enemy forces reach my doorstep.

Luckily I have already begun the process of crafting myself a cudgel.

Those little bastards won't know what hit them.

And yet I am still currently being feasted upon (YES, as I type this some form of fly is trying to eat me).

Flying insects of all form and type are still bugging us (pun fully intended)

we MUST post more until we can post them to death!

 

SO SAY WE ALL!

SO SAY WE ALL!

Though out home I live in the middle of the woods, so trying to kill these guys is an impossible task. We just do our best to repel them with candles and shit.

Oh my friend, my friend. Only a few times have I viewed a post that so dramatically forced itself in to my heart. There are not many creatures that have such a profound effect upon myself. 

 

Okay, granted if a 30ft snake or a scorpion were to take up residence within my domicile I may find my adrenal glands firing on all pistons whilst I found an adequate safety zone far from said nasties... However, the fact of the matter is that unless you live in the amazon or most places in the african continent, snakes, scorpions etc don't tend to come knocking (and if they do it most probably will be the one, or two if you're truly unlucky), unlike flies...

 

Flies will swarm upon your household like it's a full blown festival of pestilence. It always starts off with one, battering itself against a window or buzzing around in front of the TV while you're watching reruns of (insert your favourite show) and before you know it, its friends have joined in.

 

You Rambo up and attempt to disintegrate them one by one, which is by no means a small feat as not only do they have eyes that see ALL, they also seem to have premonitions of every action you take up to, and including, your future vulnerable points, when you will be preparing food and quite probably when and how you are going to die.

 

Now flies are a wonderful work of nature. They have a huge part in the breaking down of deceased animals and other rotting matter and thus aid the great cycle of life, energy and the food chain.

 

I pose that none of the above works of wonder are happening in my domicile nor do I require the aid of these winged bitch whores from hell. If i have a rotting body here I will of course dispose of it to an appropriate place where the flies may feast until their little tum tums are fit to burst. If i have spoiled food I will lay it on an alter for them far from my kitchen as a sacrifice to the gods of pestilence and death.

 

If I lived in the wild and happened upon a grazing pack of wolves who have downed and are feasting on a fresh kill, I certainly wouldn't attempt to invite myself for dinner even in my hungriest hour. Flies, however, have RSVP'd in advance and couldn't give a flying fig if they are unwanted or not.

 

Any creature that is happy and bold enough to waltz right up to a freaking lion and compete for it's food and WIN is surely in league with satan and must die.

 

I personally have tried the Rambo attempt and bandana or not have failed on most occasions.

I have tried bug spray and, however successful against flies, i have found that it also creates as an uninhabitable environment as mars, not to mention A) the corpses of downed flies (eww), and the ones unaffected elsewhere will wait for the dust to settle and march right on in.

 

Short of living inside a clinical clean room or growing super mario style carnivorous plants in the hundreds, I can find no end to the plague that finds me every summer, warm spring/autumn evening or even during winter when I open a window to let in fresh air (YES, apparently they sometimes nest in window frames or attics!)

 

It's summer and hotter than hot here which is just like home for these hell spawned demons. What am I to do short of buying a flamethrower and set up a fallout style vault to hole up in until somebody invents sentry-bots with anti fly missiles?

 

When all is over and done with and we have removed with scourge... I feel we should also deal with the moth problem as most of my clothes are basically one great big hole and they're ruining netflix for me!

 

Rant over, PEACE OUT

Snakes and rather large spiders are pretty common where I live. >.>

To be frank, I haven't seen a fly in months. 

Probably because I'm a hermit, but that's besides the obvious. 

One word for you, Honeybadger.

Any creature that is happy and bold enough to waltz right up to a freaking lion and compete for it's food and WIN is surely in league with satan and must die.
 

I am not too far from IDK, so it is only a matter of time before the enemy forces reach my doorstep.

Luckily I have already begun the process of crafting myself a cudgel.

Those little bastards won't know what hit them.

Prepare yourself now. 

I'm on day two of the invasion and for every fly I kill, it seems like 3 more have appeared in it's place when I go upstairs. they must have a camp somewhere. 

It's like that one rule I saw on the Internet once.

"For every cockroach you see, there are 100 more hiding within the walls."

Same goes for spiders apparently, which is why I have decided to share this simple yet effected guide on how to survive Satan's gift to us. 

SURVIVE(OR KINDA)

Arm yourselves with these: salt shotguns designed specifically for flies. Scattergun the little buggars without harming your snack cakes.

BTW we've had a pretty light fly-filled summer down in the south U.S. Normally we'd put up fly strips and cover food when we walk away, but not this year. I guess they all went to Canada or something.

I, too, live in the south and haven't been bothered by ANY flies.

But fleas... DAMNIT I GOT FLEAS EVERYWHERE .w.

those pests! They bothered me yesterday when I was very very hungover. And they just kept on landing in my face. And I was so hungover I couldn't even move, and when I finally did move to catch them, they vanished. Only to return again later! Now i'm off for some fly hunt. Just popped in Metallica's Seek and Destroy from Kill 'em all, that song and album must be about flies?

Can we kill all the craneflies whilst we're at it?

Cycling to work along the canal in sticky heat literally brings out thousands upon thousands of flies, you get splatters over your face and clothes and sometimes the clouds are so thick it looks like solid, globular black balls are slowly rising and falling about six feet in the air.